Gilded Trash
Ride shotgun with Comedian Scott Reed and Creator Crystal Reed as they travel the country in search of ...what? When they figure it out, you'll be the first to know!
Gilded Trash
Yinzers Never Say Die
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We dive into the magic of 80s movie weekends and how childhood freedom has changed over the decades. Homemade popcorn, classic films, and reminiscing about simpler times create the perfect nostalgic experience.
• The perfect 80s movie weekend starts with The Goonies and includes Poltergeist, E.T., and Ghostbusters
• Childhood in the 80s meant unlimited freedom to explore without parental supervision
• America's Most Wanted potentially sparked the rise of helicopter parenting
• Reality TV shows thrive by planting seeds of conflict without scripting specific drama
• Americans are drawn to sob stories and emotional content more than positive messages
• Corned beef and pastrami represent the ultimate comfort foods, especially around St. Patrick's Day
• We won $5,000 in a nationwide candy factory scavenger hunt during COVID
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Episode Three Begins
Speaker 1night. Turn the lights off tonight.
Speaker 2I look too washed out.
Speaker 3No, not at all. You look good for me. You look good for me.
Speaker 1That's what she said.
Speaker 2Can you believe it, babe?
Speaker 3Yes, I can believe it. We're already in episode three, unless you believe it, babe. Yes, I can believe it.
Speaker 2We're already in episode three, Unless you mean Jesus then I might have trouble.
Speaker 3Stop it, All right anyway. Episode three yeah, already. Oh, the new season. Okay, I thought you meant all up. I was like this is like.
Speaker 2This is our 13th episode, all up, yeah 13.
Speaker 3Lucky 13,. Eh is like this is our 13th episode all up. Yeah, 13 lucky 13. Hey, no, I like the number two did. We was that place we ate at in the outer banks. That has something to do with 13 lucky 13 yeah, it was lucky. 13 the good soft shell crabs. You know where I'm talking about yes up in, like the nags head or something, kill devil hills, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's killing what it was, I don't remember somewhere up there, but the guy was from pittsburgh.
Speaker 2He's out there rooting for the penguins, baby hey yeah, that whole joint had um stealer's gear in it and stuff like that but the soft shell crabs were, I mean, the best soft shell crabs I've had.
Speaker 3I mean they were top notch. And them girls said he's back there shucking and cleaning them all day.
Speaker 2None of that was said.
Speaker 3Yes, they were those ladies that were sitting next to us. They said he's been back there cleaning them all day. It's what he does on soft shell day. That's why they only do it one day a week, because it's so fucking good.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 3I kind of work into it every day of the week.
Speaker 2And he went to my alumnus alumni. To be clear, I didn't graduate from my right.
Speaker 3He went there for a party one time and a couple parties, a couple weeks messing. But yeah, no, we're back at it here. What do we got? What do we got? What do we got? You just got done recording a whole other podcast.
Speaker 2Yes, I did, oh my God. So Trash Panda Social Club. I'm going to be dropping clips this week. So excited my guests, my first guests, two of my favorite content creators on tiktok beautiful fucking chaos bfc and hobag hb. They're my bitches, they are great and we had a lot of fun.
Speaker 3it was a cool time let me tell you I'm really comfy right now. You look, really, now that I'm leaning back, baby, we're gonna just, we're just gonna ease on right into, we're just going to ease on right into this. We're just going to slide right on into these deep tones, to these deep tones.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, so what else? Oh, you were just talking about soft-shelled crabs. You had soft-shelled crabs last weekend.
Speaker 3It was good, not as good, but everything else was good. Not as good, but everything else was great.
Speaker 2Yes, rubes Crab Shack in Emmitsburg, maryland, holy hell.
Speaker 3Everything was great. Not crazy about the soft-shells, just because, like you said, the breading wasn't quite as good. Honestly, you know I'm a soft-shell connoisseur. Like the shells were, they weren't hard, but they were like. I like it to just just so soft and gentle like a baby's blanket. I like it to be like that.
Speaker 2How many baby's blankets have you eaten in your lifetime?
Speaker 3They're soft. I've licked quite a few, so weird, so weird. You don't ever lick a blanket because it's soft.
Speaker 2No, there's blankets, the fuzzy ones that used to have the satin rim across the top, like the satin. Whatever border I did used to suck on the satin.
Speaker 3Is this bothering you that I'm so relaxed over here?
Speaker 2Why would it?
Speaker 3bother me, because I'm just like I am in it, baby. I'm like, do you ever watch Shane Gillis on a podcast? He me, because I'm just like I am in it, baby. I'm like, do you ever watch shane gillis on a podcast? He's like, got his feet up like lady. I've seen him like laying down on the couch. There's one or like dan soder, who does has a small like couch and he's like right next to his guests. And when I like certain people are like bigger on there, it's like they're like right next to him. It's kind of yeah no, I haven't no shane like he gets all he it's not.
Speaker 3He just is like in his socks and he'll be like literally laying down on the couch while they're filming like he's being, like he's on a psych cat all the time. I mean, he's totally comfortable, and that's the attitude that I'm taking now is like I don't care what I look like, I want to be comfortable. That way you get the best version of me.
Speaker 2I mean, I'm never comfortable, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin.
Speaker 3I also love really holding my mic like this. It's resting on my belly, that's how good it is. Look at that. It's resting on my belly, that's how it's perfect.
Childhood Public Speaking Competitions
Speaker 2You're a crackhead, but I love you, love you. Um, what else happened this past week? Oh, I did stand up for the second time yeah, second time it was great, great, great.
Speaker 3It was way better than your first time. Your first time was impromptu, like you didn't even really know you were gonna do it. You had an idea. You're like I might do it, but like you didn't sit there. This one you prepared for, you worked. I mean practice, you practiced, you wrote, you like you did the real deal. I need to get that away from my face. It's a comfortable thing, but I like it yeah, I like it close to my face, but it's not good for me, it's not good for you.
Speaker 2It gives you a radium no well, regardless of what it gives you, the mics are really good. So when I was in high school, I was in um. It was called forensics, which is weird.
Speaker 3Yeah, it is weird.
Speaker 2It's weird that it's called that, because what we actually did was competitive public speaking right.
Speaker 3Yeah, when you get done this, don't let me forget this Science teacher forensics Go ahead.
Speaker 2Okay, so um one of the bits that I did, I I competed in. So I competed in comedy um performance. I competed in dramatic performance. I competed in radio broadcasting, which I actually won states in, but in my comedic performance it was oh shit, who was the lady on Saturday Night Live? Lily Tomlin? She was on Saturday Night Live, right?
Speaker 1The little kid yeah.
Speaker 2So yeah, she was the little in the big chair oh my gosh, she was so cute, but she did. She in the big chair, oh my gosh, she was so cute, but she did. She's a mindless Hollywood liberal. She had like a monologue that she did on Broadway and it was how do you get to excuse me, ma'am, how do you get to Broadway? And she's like, and what I told him was practice oh yeah, I got high scores for that, but it was corny and stupid, but that always stuck with me. Just practice, practice, practice.
Speaker 3Now, did you so? Did you play in a speech?
Speaker 2In when I competed in high school.
Speaker 3Yeah, in forensics.
Speaker 2So when I did the drama and the comedic, they were actually they were monologues from plays and stuff, so I did have to practice those. But I was also on the um, oh, I want to say impromptu was the name of the category, but you had. You had three minutes to like give your stance on something, but you, you got the subject like maybe 15 minutes, yeah, and you had to prepare and read was the the word extemporaneous. Yes, extemporaneous public speaking yes, you're so right. That was the category that I like to compete in.
Speaker 3Extemporaneous. Here's our weekly visitor. Here she is. Say hi, say hi, mom.
Speaker 2Sally Owen. Sally Owens, all right, go about your Our practical, magical cat, extemporaneous speaking yeah, go about your, our practical magical cat.
Speaker 3Extemporaneous speaking yeah, I did that. You had 15 minutes. You know, I was a big public speaker back in the day, buddy, I was the best, and I mean that With every bit of my soul. I was the best. I'm teasing, no, but I was good, I was no, I was so good at those was a. I was no, I was so good at those things. Anything that I competed in in the FFA thing, because it was just all like speak, public speaking. Like most kids haven't figured out how to bullshit in front of adults yet I mean, they know how to lie, but like to really bullshit an adult, you got to have like some good shit, so, and I was really good at that. So I mean, because that's who was judging you, so, um, yeah, so I always knock those things out of the park. Plus, I just you know me, I'm just completely full of shit. Extemporaneous speaking that's what I do on a daily, freaking basis. Give me a topic, I'll make shit up what did you say the other day?
Speaker 2you said somebody's name and I was like he's making that out of nichols.
Speaker 3Shout out if you're listening. Billy nichols, I was in jail with him back in the day oh, that's right.
Speaker 2So so while we were at our seafood dinner, he was uh, I don't even know what you call my son's grandma, yeah, my son's grandma right.
Speaker 3Right, we took Brenda out to eat and then she was talking. They were talking about their old days back over in Hagerstown when they used to At the Hayloft.
Speaker 2The Hayloft.
Speaker 3Brenda worked there.
Speaker 2Yeah, you worked there, yeah.
Speaker 3And hold on. I'm just trying to get myself a little better here.
Speaker 1I'm just trying to get a little better. I said a little better than before.
Speaker 2Yeah, I was a karaoke DJ. She was a bartender.
Speaker 3I did bartending here and there and she brought up this guy. She's like I can't remember this other guy's name. His name was Billy. He was real tall. Now, mind you, hagerstown, 50,000 people roughly. I was like Billy Nichols, atlanta Bee thought I was joking, because I just say shit like that all the time, where I'm like, yeah, I know him, johnny Juiceman, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2This is one of his things.
Speaker 3I just happened to name the one tall person I knew in Hagerstown named Billy. Hadn't seen a guy in 20 years Shout out his name, Billy Nichols. Bada, boom, bada bing. That's who she's talking about and I mean to be fair, he is really tall. So if you happen to know Billy's and he's the only tall Billy that I know- Right.
Speaker 2If somebody said tall Chuck from Pittsburgh, I would fucking know who they were talking about.
Speaker 3Right, that's exactly right. If you've ever met him, that's probably who you're going to refer to as that person. Yeah, no you're right, Like it's just, there's a number of other things that led to that being.
Speaker 2But it's just in out of context. Knowing that you do that so much to people like you'll, I mean, I'll be like, remember that guy that we met at that restaurant in Virginia? And you'll be like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1Bob now.
Speaker 3Like what? No, it started Cause I used to do it to my mom all the time. Anytime she'd start talking and telling a story or taking a phone call, I'd be like who was that? Debbie Ebersole, which really combined two people. There was plenty of Ebersoles around, but there was a lady up the street named Debbie, but her last name was something else. So I just started calling her Debbie Ebersole and so I used to do it to her all the time, until the point that, basically, I think people started to believe that Debbie Ebersole was real. I mean, I'm sure that she is, but she wasn't anybody that we knew. It wasn't the one you were talking about. It wasn't anybody we knew. She's hanging out with Joe Schwarzkopf and Billy Nichols.
Speaker 2Oh, so I know Whenever I was doing the promo. Oh no, First, before I jump into that, you wanted me to bring up forensics.
Speaker 3Oh, yeah, forensics. So one time in eighth grade, when you was signing up for my high school classes and every teacher, especially like if you were going into like the ap classes you had to get the signature of, like the teacher, you had now to let him know that, yeah, I think he's ready for you know more advanced class. And the science teacher's like what do you want to do when you grow up? Because I wanted to take biology in ninth grade, which you didn't usually do. It was usually 10th grade. But regardless of any of that, he's like what do you want to do when you grow up?
Speaker 3And I said forensics? He's like what in the hell do you want to take biology for? Then and I was like what are you talking about, dude? Csi is nothing but biology. Like I, nothing but biology. Like I was like what do you even mean? I had no idea that forensics had like I just thought it was like blood spatter, you know DNA, shit, I mean that's what we've come to know it as today, but apparently it's also public speaking and I don't know it's got something to do with that.
Speaker 3I don't even know exactly, to be honest with you. I just know that, like it can be used either or whatever. Oh, forensic science, I think, is the word that you want to use when applying to science, as opposed to regular forensics.
Speaker 2Okay, okay.
Speaker 3See, you learn something new every day.
Speaker 2Oh sorry.
Speaker 3Yeah, get it together. Get it together. What do you got?
Speaker 2So last week we talked about SNL. We did and we brought up the clip Don't Look Back in Anger, which is my new favorite.
Speaker 3John Belushi at the Gravestones.
Speaker 2Yes, and then I just wanted to look at his date of death because I was curious as to whether or not I was hitting correctly that I was like seven when he died. I was correct. He died in March of 1982. And Scott the comedian was born in October of 1982. Belushi died when he was at his rock bottom at the age of 33. Scott hit his rock bottom Hopefully that was the only one you'll ever hit at the age of 33.
Speaker 1I don't know about that.
Speaker 2So you don't think, before you got clean was your rock bottom.
Speaker 3No, I think I was 35. Probably was my rock bottom. I'm 42 years old, shh I don't want people knowing that, but 70, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, we'll call rock bottom 34. How about it? Split the difference, eh.
Speaker 2Split the difference. Yeah, both were born to be comics.
Speaker 3Was I yeah.
Speaker 2I think the only difference between his drug of choices was cocaine. Yours is pot, but other than that I.
Speaker 3I just but let's move on.
Speaker 2But regardless of the similarities and I'm sure I could find more parallels between the two of you, Oh- His dad worked at Big Lots.
Speaker 3My dad worked at Big Lots Big. Lots wasn't even my mom was a school lunch lady. His mom was a school lunch lady.
80s Movie Weekend Nostalgia
Speaker 2He did a. He played a school lunch lady in SNL. Oh, you guys were both in rock bands when you were 16-ish, so that's a thing. But no, regardless of the parallels, there's just something to be said for how much love. At seven years old I had a friend of mine that was on TV, who was not very I mean, it's not like he was super hot or anything like that I was just attracted to his soul. And then the same attraction that I have for his soul ends up having the attraction for your soul.
Speaker 3I'm just saying that I could be John Belushi.
Speaker 2I think that you're John Belushi reincarnate and that you're put on this earth to do the second chance that he didn't get in the first time Cause you didn't pick up your comedy until after you hit your rock bottom.
Speaker 3Right, a lot of people do it differently. Yeah, a lot of people dive, right in?
Speaker 2Yeah, I think, but anyways, just wanted to bring that up. What else do we have on our oh? And what else we did last weekend? Which is my favorite thing? It's a whole vibe 80s movie weekend.
Speaker 3I forgot about that.
Speaker 2Start off with the Goonies.
Speaker 3Any great 80s movie marathon starts off Goonies because I mean Goonies never say die.
Speaker 2They never say die.
Speaker 3It's the best movie of all time. Anybody that didn't want to be a Goonie, I mean, what are you even really doing with your life If you didn't want to be a Goonie? What kind of childhood did you have?
Speaker 2And if you grew up in Western Pennsylvania, the hills of Estonia or whatever that place is called Astoria they look like, it feels like when the opening credits look like Westmont and you guys will know what I'm talking about. Or look like Pittsburgh.
Speaker 3I think too, like it was like as when we were kids, you could explore. My mom never checked on us, never. We were out running, exploring everywhere, especially when we moved up to you know wherever that Upton, because like we had all the woods and stuff, man, we never.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean, I played basketball every single summer. I wasn't an athlete, I wasn't any good at it, but I played basketball every single summer because we had um, they sent the college kids that wanted to be gym teachers and shit. They sent them to the local playgrounds with equipment and they would bring equipment and yeah.
Speaker 3I went to say some things. Similar kind of like a day camp and not really, where you would just show up and there would be people there doing activities with kids. Second thought maybe this is it was such an innocent time back then Nobody was worried about child rape and abduction. Right Like my youth pastor never tried to molest me. It was such an innocent time back then Nobody was worried about child rape and abduction Right.
Speaker 2Like my youth, pastor never tried to molest me.
Speaker 3You all knew the story of like one person in Texas or something that got kidnapped.
Speaker 2Right, but it wasn't.
Speaker 3But like they didn't worry, it wasn't a fear. Like now parents would never trust kids with a complete stranger in like a weird situation. Back then they were like I don't give a, take them, get them out of my hair your mom fucking handed you over to some stranger and you're talking to somebody that's been there. Brother, I've been kidnapped and yet I'm here now, but that's how. That's how it went back.
Speaker 2Then there's your grandpap went to find you right, you didn't want to fuck with my grandpap when you were a kid, if you didn't make your way up to um devil's cliffs or some place like that dead man's cave it had to have a name.
Speaker 3It definitely involved. It always had a name. Death was usually involved in the title yeah, yeah or like you know, there every town had them. You know what I mean. It just depended on what you called it I mean we were playing flashlight tag flashlight tag.
Speaker 2By virtue of flashlight tag, that means that it's dark outside. We played flashlight tag and nobody ever got adopted.
Speaker 3You know, I think damn near every devil body part is like a location in a town. There's like devil's backbone, devil's hands, devil's breast, devil's breast cave.
Speaker 2The old devil's tits.
Speaker 3The old devil's tits cave.
Speaker 1You heard about Johnny, didn't you?
Speaker 3Yeah, he was up there exploring at the devil's tits caves, he got attacked.
Speaker 2We're heading on down to the new hot springs in town. They're called the devil's asshole.
Speaker 3Called the devil's nutsack. No, but there was, though. I mean there's a devil thing in every town.
Speaker 2There is, but I mean again, we just weren't and I told you the other week. I have a theory on this. I have a theory about why humanity has evolved into fucking hover helicopter parents. It there's patient that was not good. Patient zero. Who's patient zero?
Speaker 3John Walsh.
Speaker 2John Walsh.
Speaker 3America's Most Wanted is what started this? Them parents started getting scared, scared, I get it. Go find your kid buddy, get the news out there. But the problem was is then everybody that worked so well? It wasn't John Walsh. He was trying to do a good thing, trying to you know what I mean help others.
Speaker 2Like Americans do with every fucking thing else, we made it excess.
Speaker 3No, well, listen. This is why this is what happened. He created America's Most Wanted. It was a smash success. So then you had 100,000 other things all talking about this stuff, trying to duplicate the success of America's Most Wanted.
Speaker 2And it might be the same case told by seven different venues or mediums, but because it's being blasted in your face all day, every day, I mean let's be real, though.
Speaker 3It is happening a lot, though, because you see it all the time, people get arrested for it.
Speaker 2I mean, it happens a scary amount for as much as you can get.
Speaker 3I mean, it happens a scary amount for as much as you can get. I think that child like people have always been messing with kids, dude From way back when till now, like it's now, it's on you.
Speaker 2I mean, I'd say it's like one out of five people, I'm not even lying to you.
Speaker 3It's probably like one, maybe one out of 10. That's how scary it is.
Speaker 2And that's why I stay away from people.
Speaker 3People are disgusting, but anyways, that's not even what we're talking about.
Helicopter Parents & America's Most Wanted
Speaker 2We're talking about 80s movie, 80s weekends. Well, first of all, let's talk about the fact that an 80s movie weekend does not even happen without homemade popcorn made on the stove in a big pot with oil.
Speaker 1Shake a, shake a, shake a shake them, shake them, shake them, bake them, bake them popcorn making popcorn is like one of my favorite things to do.
Speaker 2It's actually soothing for me because I love the noise. You never did nothing homemade.
Speaker 3It was microwave all the way. For me growing up, one time Pappy Reed tried to make it on the stove and it ended in complete disaster and like I don't think, he was shaking it the way you're supposed to, and so it burned, and that was the last time that we ever anybody in the Reed family tried to make popcorn on a stove.
Speaker 2I mean full disclosure. You can't do it on an electric stove because you don't have the glide. It has to be a gas stove to get the best, or you could just use an air popper. But I learned how to make it the old-fashioned way and I love it and it's so simple and it's so good and you can make a fuck ton of it. Every time I make it I make a bowl like that bit, the biggest Tupperware bowl we have. So, anyways, so you start with Goonies, right.
Speaker 3Goonies.
Speaker 2Poltergeist, poltergeist great 80s movie, et, et. There's a couple that we haven't.
Speaker 3Also, I have to eat pizza during any movie that features pizza. That being et home alone. Um what else? Yeah we haven't talked about that teenage mutant, ninja turtles. That's a pizza movie if I ever seen one in my life. Um, they love their pizza.
Speaker 2They really did oh, remember that time I made you ectoplasm, from scratch.
Speaker 3Ectocooler baby.
Speaker 2Ectocooler from scratch. I say things weird.
Speaker 3I know, but ectoplasm is a little disgusting, it's ghost juice.
Speaker 3I didn't make you ghost juice I mean, I know, but yeah, ecto cool, that's why it's cool. Ecto Cooler, that's why it's cool. Ecto Cooler yes, it was amazing. Ecto Cooler, of course. Ghostbusters, great 80s movie oh my God. Yes, but yeah, they had a drink. Now, ecto Cooler was actually from, I believe, the real Ghostbusters, the cartoon which came out in the 80s which I also love. Real ghostbusters, the cartoon which came out in the 80s which I also love, which is also where we get the serial ghostbusters from. Uh, the ghostbusters cereal. I should say not serial ghostbusters, that's a little bit different um, but it's where we get a lot of the kids, toys and stuff like that was the real ghostbusters, and the ecto cooler, of course, was made by high c tangerine flavored drink and it was absolutely amazing um. They re-released it a few times since with the new ghostbusters movies and such um, but I don't think it was the same um. But yeah, you made me a homemade recipe one time.
Speaker 3That was pretty goddamn good pretty good tangerine juice is better than you think it is. Let me just say that.
Speaker 2But the recipe called for some apricot juice as well, or apricot, I don't know how you say that.
Speaker 3That's what makes it special.
Speaker 2It is what makes it special.
Speaker 3That's what gives it the ecto. That's what gives it the ecto. Delecto, perfecto, my presidential predicto.
Speaker 2You're nuts. You're wild. Today You're hyper. I love it.
Speaker 3But no, I did love I mean, all the Ghostbusters. So I was really jealous. I told you before I had a friend that he always had like the best cereal, the best toys and Ghostbusters cereal. When I got to eat that at his house like you talk about a moment that warmed my heart, buddy I probably had two bowls.
Speaker 2God bless his mother, but yeah Like. I don't remember. The only thing that I was ever not covetous because that's not the right word, but the only thing that any of my friends ever got that like I was like a little jelly of was um one of my girlfriends, her grandmother bought her expensive makeup like clinique. Clinique was high yeah, that was the high-end shit like the 80s and she always had the clinique lip gloss and the everything clinique and it was like but I mean, you're right, what are you looking at?
Speaker 1Nothing. Your nose hairs.
Speaker 2But I mean it tracks because she grew up to marry money and so whatever Right, it tracked.
Speaker 3The only thing I was ever jealous of was that Evelyn and Ryan both got to go to McDonald's more than me and they got the toys. That I was extremely jealous. Other than that, I did not care. I was also jealous of the kids that were allowed to stay up past light outside in the summertime because I'd see them from my window going to an ice cream truck.
Speaker 2You are so hyper. Your mom made you go to bed before the lights were off.
Speaker 3Before the sun went down. For Christ's sake, I remember that is cruel and unusual. Don't ever make a Nobody should be going to bed period unless before the sun goes down. That's not the way the world works, okay.
Speaker 2I mean people who work third shift. Do that.
Speaker 3Kids don't work third shift, do that. It don't work third shift. I wasn't working third shift. I tell you that.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh Sounds like you were traumatized. Do you want to talk about this?
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm traumatized because I didn't get the Fraggle Rock toys.
Speaker 2I'm traumatized because I didn't get the wrestling ice cream bars. Is this why you went on to lead a life of crime?
Speaker 3Yeah, I didn't get the silver Hawks that I wanted. I didn't get the what was the name of that shit Thundercats that I wanted. I'll tell you.
Speaker 2No, castle Grace, I got.
Speaker 3Barbies, though Barbie. One time I got two of the same Barbie for my birthday. What a fiasco that was. It was one of the gem dolls, the one fiasco that was. It was one of the gem dolls, the one that was. I don't know if she was black, but she had a different color skin than the rest of them.
Speaker 2I can't, even I can't tell that story. One of these days I'll be able to share it when the world is right again.
Speaker 3but Olivia, once my oh yeah, don't ever say that story, we're just going to drop it right there. Her daughter dropped the N-word in a McDonald's.
Speaker 2In a McDonald's in a city and it was her father's fault. I mean, I was horrified, horrified, horrified, horrified. But her father, to be clear, is purely racist. And well, actually I think it was an act, because he then went on to um, have an email love affair with one of the nigerian princess ladies, and he knew she was black and he was in love with her, but um, so got himself a nigerian princess.
Speaker 2But live was three and we were in the hagerstown mcdonald's and she got a barbie toy and said I don't want the end, Barbie.
Speaker 3You talk about some faces turning buddy. Even in 1997, the heads turned.
Speaker 2It was like 1999 ish.
Speaker 3They killed her no 1997.
Speaker 2She was born in 95. Oh tell, oh my God, kids say the darndest things they do.
Speaker 3Bill Cosby taught her that one.
Speaker 2Yeah, but what else about the 80s? I mean, I loved it. I'm a true blue 80s girl, true blue. Oh, are you, you're going to lay down?
Speaker 3Fingal style buddy. Yeah, now, this is a podcast. You actually look good like that. Yeah, now this is a podcast.
Speaker 2Yeah, you actually look good like that.
Speaker 3So I'm saying that's why he does it it's comfortable, I'm having fun.
Speaker 2Pull your mirror. Stick down just a little bit, though, okay. I mean, if you want it to be above you, that's fine.
Speaker 3I do whenever oh, I see what you're saying you're trying to be sexy.
Speaker 2How are you doing?
Speaker 3whoa oh my that feels a little more invasive, but i'm'm good, let's go.
Speaker 2You still look good, let's go. Okay. So 80s movie weekends. Do you want to say anything to wrap that one up?
Speaker 3Nope, I don't Lots of good 80s movies, but I love having a good 80s night. We have one about once every couple months. Get some pizza, some popcorn and some snacks and you're ready to go. It tastes like nostalgia and, as we know, that tastes the best. Nothing tastes better than nostalgia. That's what America like. If I've learned anything about business, about anything America nothing tastes as good as nostalgia. People love to eat and experience things from their childhood and you know whatever.
Speaker 2You know what else America loves Cigarettes. Whatever you know what else america loves cigarettes what else america loves? Crack a good sob story. They do. They love a good sob story, and you know what sob story was in the news this week that got everybody all up in arms. Dj daniel, this kid is so cute oh, is that the little black kid? Yes, oh, I'm with you. He's his brain like the way he speaks is just.
Speaker 3It blows my mind nothing crazy when there's like an articulate little kid articulate kids like blow my they, they, just they.
Speaker 2Blow my mind like I can't even it's. It's the most incredible thing to watch. They're little old souls packaged in a tiny little package. I'm only bringing that up because it's viral. Obviously, whatever happened, it wasn't even the State of the Union, it was the Congressional Address, or whatever he does.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's the State of the Union.
Speaker 2No, the first one that a president does in their term is not called a state of the union, it's called a address of the joint that sounds like some technical jerk.
Speaker 3It's the state of the union.
Speaker 2Put it that way so, anyways, democrats didn't clap for dj dan, who has cancer. And who is what? Who Trump inducted into the secret service, right so secret service.
Speaker 2Hall of Fame why I'm even bringing it up is because I put a video up of me ugly crying to him getting inducted into the secret service. Within 10 minutes, that video had over 400 views. I put a video up promoting positivity or trying to promote the podcast, and those videos get one to 200 views. What the fuck is up with the analytic? What the fuck is up with the algorithm? I'm going to tell you Americans love humans, love a good sob story, they love drama. They love a car wreck. They love sadness.
Speaker 3And this is no more proof positive in the fact that I am the greatest American idol handicapper that you will ever meet. I can tell you, based on their backstory, how well they will do in the competition. And I mean I'm deadly accurate. I mean it's uncanny how accurate I am about this. Like, if you're watching American Idol with me live, I can give you betting odds. I would love to, I would love for a casino to hire me and do live handicapping of voice competitions, not because I know voices but because I know America's racist hearts and who they vote for and I know a sob story and I can tell what they'll respond to and what they won't. And let me tell you do I have a lazy eye?
Speaker 3no, the video glitches, it like stops working it's not that it's like when I'm looking here it looks like I'm looking in from, because I'm only looking at a little.
Speaker 2Every once in a while your eye does wander, but we're not going to touch that. It does.
Speaker 3With the men like you any man in my family you catch them looking at a wrong way and they'll give you one of them. I'll go that way, it's going it'll follow you, stop it yeah.
Speaker 2But anyway.
Speaker 3Make one hell of a skeet shooter. Who said that? Theo Theo Bond.
Speaker 2I'm talking about his girlfriend, Paula.
Speaker 3Yeah, with a lazy eye. That's my family.
Speaker 2No, but you are a good handicapper. And remember the I mean the fucking stripper. She was a reformed stripper, that's all. Was she a good handicapper? And remember the I mean the fucking stripper. She was a reformed stripper, that's all. Was she a good singer? Not in the grand scheme of things, no, but she made it far because people loved her story.
Speaker 3They wanted to raise her up on a platform and give her what she had coming that she's been struggling for, whatever you can tell, can tell and, like I said, and you have to, the hard part is predicting when America how far that sob story will get them, whether or not it'll overcome America's like their racist tendencies in voting, whether it'll overcome their gayist tendencies in voting, whether it'll overcome their inability as a singer, and when America, like, how powerful is that sob story? You get somebody out there that lost both parents, every brother, sister, grandparent, they have cancer. They're winning everything, baby. No, actually they won't. Because here's the thing is, america will only take it so far and that's when you see, that's why you see things like certain. You can see anomalies in the winners. Like I say, america's racist.
Speaker 3Obviously there's been people you know Ruben stuttered, one American idol, right. Or did he come in second? No, he won. And clay Aiken second, right. But I'm just saying, in that instance, america hates gays. Now, right, no, but you just have to get a gate, you just have to gauge for it. But American are voting. They tend to be. You have to think if 10 percent of the people voting might have an unconscious racial bias. You have to take that into account and I do and I'm very good at it.
Speaker 2Baby, you just made the whole case for DI. I think you're going to keep your position as a DEI advisor, I mean.
Speaker 3I try, I know, but Nothing spells diversity, equity, inclusion, like yours truly.
Speaker 2Like a white guy leading the conversation.
Speaker 3Like a white guy leading the conversation.
Speaker 2I love it. I love it, no, but I mean it drives me insane. That's, I mean trash panda. I, the whole thought concept behind trash panda was trying trying to promote positivity on social media and it just we ended talking about drama, which is cool, right, oh shit. Yes, which is cool, because that was you know. I mean it's content right, but at the end of the day, drama sells.
Speaker 3I mean, that's the long and short of it and corporate America and all these little assholes that control all this, like productions and stuff. They all know that. They all know human behavior and know how to play. They all know how to play tricks. Like any good propagandists. They know how to play tricks with your mind because, whether or not you want to or not, your mind is susceptible to you know certain things. Well, just because of the way we've progressed evolutionarily through the years, our brain is subject to certain things. It's subject to seeing patterns where there's not. It's subject to seeing. You know what I mean. Like there's so many things you can do to trick your brain, even if you're aware of it.
Speaker 2No, there is. I mean, that's why we've talked about, that's why the secret actually does work, in my opinion. But I heard somebody say it the other day and it jumped off the page to me because it was a reality person and they were like no, reality shows are not scripted, but they're outlined. Reality shows are not scripted, but they're outlined. The producers are the ones that are like putting shit in other people's ears to cause drama and saying hey, did you hear? So-and-so said this about you, or whatever.
Speaker 3That's exactly right. They just they're able to dictate. You don't even have to do anything. They're like you know, josh was talking shit. Yeah, that's all they say, and then they've planted these seeds. That's all they do is plant seeds, and then they watch them grow into beautiful drama flowers yes, that's that's yes yes, I mean, I wear it all on my sleeve.
Speaker 3So and it started with the original reality show real world. They did it on there, they would save it. They would get messages from the, the producers and stuff like this to like start start pushing this issue. Yeah, start like being start leaving your laundry in the fucking guest room or whatever, and then this creates this. It like that's how they, that's how they're able to create drama without scripting it well.
Speaker 2So one of the content creators that I follow on tiktok her name is um ava louise and she's in the reality network somewhere. She's, she's done reality and videos and all this, that and the other. And she said that you know, on one of the shows she was on, the producers wanted her to go into somebody's room and toss it while they were on vacation. I mean, they told her to go in and fucking go through somebody's room. It's their house. The people that own the network or whatever own the production are paying for it Technically. Whatever's in that place is their property.
Speaker 3Humans are already dramatic. It doesn't take much to stir up some shit. I mean, you see this it a facebook comment starts a murder scenario. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2like well, that's another, that's a whole other layer to get riled up that's a whole other layer, because when you take um, the, the sound, when you take the audio out of the mix and only have text, then then everybody's innuendo doesn't. You can't read innuendo always in somebody's written word, right? So in a 40 character text you're going to read your own innuendo into how they meant it to be said, based off of who you think that person is.
Speaker 3Right, exactly.
Speaker 2For the longest time. I struggled when my kids got to high school and started using socials. I struggled when they put up song lyrics because I didn't understand that they weren't like going to go pop a cap tonight in somebody's ass, that they were just feeling the vibe of that song in the moment and that was just that. And it's funny when I see the old people commenting on like what, what, what are you saying there? They're like it's a song, grandma, it's a song I remember when I was a kid, dmx.
Speaker 3But blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh. I think the name was the name of the album. Um, he's like covered in blood on the front. Anyway, there's a song on there called I don't give a fuck. And my mom found the cd case because I kept my. I had a great big book. My book like looked like the, the, um, what do you call that thing in the bible, like the day of judgment, the, the book of the, the Book of the Living, I don't know Whatever. Like a big book. It looked like my CD book. It opened like the greatest book of ever. It was so big and so thick. It looked like a.
Speaker 2And to this day you still owe Columbia House $2,574.
St. Paddy's Day & Corned Beef
Speaker 3Probably, actually, I think I owe them a nickel. It was 90 CDs for a nickel. Probably, actually, I think I owe him a nickel. It was 90 CDs for a nickel. But regardless of any of that, I had a great big book of my mom. So I threw the CD case out while my mom comes down the stairs and my mom who never cusses ever, she just looks at me and she goes. She's got it in her hand but I don't really see it because I'm like not right there. She's like I don't give a fuck and I was like what? First of all, whoa about what? And then she's like that's the name of this song. I love it, but it was just funny that I don't give a. That's not how the song isn't. I don't think DMX is like I don't give a fuck. You know what I meanX is like I don't give a fuck. You know what I mean. He's like I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2But my mom phrased it as a question, which is what you can do with the word fuck. I don't give a fuck. Miyagi, put a sneeze on that one. What else do we got? Oh, ooh, you asked me what we got going on next week, so um, we got scott kelly's oh yeah, his specials dropping.
Speaker 3That's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2We're gonna go to a watch party for that that'll be a lot of fun, but right after that and before your next show with Scott in between the premiere and the next show is my favorite holiday next to Halloween.
Speaker 3St Paddy's Day. St Paddy's Day, which can only mean one thing Corn beef and pastrami, my two favorite words ever. Corn beef pastrami my two favorite words ever Corned beef pastrami.
Speaker 2I was joking with the ladies earlier. My husband is a refined meat man.
Speaker 3He is the meat man Corned beef, turning that bad boy into pastrami. Well, I mean, you're brining a brisket and then turning it into pastrami. I guess it's not really corned beef, unless you make it like that. But you can buy a corned beef and make it into pastrami by smoking it. That's the whole idea. And let me tell you, it's like I like to call it, god's penis.
Speaker 2Is that what you call it? Did I know that I was eating God's penis at this time?
Speaker 3But I do like to call it God.
Speaker 2I know that I was eating god's penis this time, but I I do like to call it's god's gift to mankind. I mean, it's probably, hands down, the best meat that I've ever eaten outside of stromy is like it really is.
Speaker 3It's if, if I'm dying, I think that's what I want for my last meal some good. Yeah, it's charming brother. It's like, it's like everything you love about every meat that I think that's what I want for my last meal is some good pastrami, bro. It's like everything you love about every meat that you've ever eaten, because it's got all those great salty flavors. The fat of the brisket just makes it so tasty and tender.
Speaker 2And that weird coriander flavor that pops out at you every once in a while.
Speaker 3It's like black pepper coriander, just heaven.
Speaker 2But I like. I mean, obviously I grew up on the traditional style, my dad, I love regular corn.
Speaker 2Yeah, my dad's 50% Irish, and I mean it was like it was like murderous. Yeah, he's 50% Irish, 25% German and 25%rainian. All up in your ass, ukraine. I don't identify with the ukrainian side anymore, even though I'm pretty sure that's where I got this luxurious hair, um, anyways. So, uh, yeah, like the cabbage and the potatoes in the in the brine oh my god, it's just so damn good. Oh, the cabbage and the and the potatoes in the brine, oh my god, it's just so damn good.
Speaker 3Oh, the cabbage and the and the potatoes in the brine, oh my god. So let me just start off this by saying that I never even ate corned beef, cabbage and potatoes until I met you I love that I mean I had I.
Speaker 3I think I might have had corned beef, right sure, pastrami. I think I had that for sure, Like in a sandwich, but I didn't even know. Like we didn't do that back in Franklin County, we didn't do cabbage and potatoes. The closest thing we came to eat to something like that was my mom always made sausage, green beans and potatoes.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 3And just like baked in a casserole, and sometimes she would use like regular sausage, but other times sometimes she would use kielbasa, kielbasa, kielbasa. Can we get an official interpretation there?
Speaker 2no, um it's kielbasa, it's kielbasa, kielbasa. But we say like, I say kielbasa kielbasa.
Speaker 3No, I know, but I think that's the proper way to say it. We need to get into this. I'm going to research the proper Kielbasa Kielbasa.
Speaker 2Kielbasa, kielbasa.
Speaker 3Kielbasa. I'd like some kielbasa, please. You remember that Tim Me meadows the ladies man. Yes, I do, it's a lady, I'll take some covalfie we're not big drinkers, so we're not, I mean.
Speaker 2So will we do a green beer on saint patty's day?
Speaker 3probably not I don't ever do any beer. I I mean, I do beer, but I only do. Well, I shouldn't say that the only beer product that I'm drinking, that's not a small brewer. You know what I mean, Like an IPA or something. The only thing that I the only canned like national beer that I am ever drinking for any circumstance, is yingling like. I don't drink green beer, I don't drink this on this day, this on that day. I want yingling.
Speaker 2That's what I like have you ever done, guinness?
Speaker 3yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah, I don't, it's nasty I've done the irish carbon and I love a good thick beer. You you know what I mean. I love IPAs, like you know me, I love those things. I love a good hop.
Speaker 1I love a good, whatever else it is.
Speaker 3But I cannot do. I can't do Guinness, it's just nasty.
Speaker 2Yeah, I can't either. No, I'm with you.
Speaker 3I'd be in shit out of luck if that's all there was.
Speaker 2And we can't bring up.
Speaker 3And the Irish can kiss my ass.
Speaker 2We cannot bring up St Paddy's Day without bringing up State Paddy's Day.
Speaker 3The one time we got trapped. So State College does their own thing. It's called State Paddy's Day and it must be like on a Saturday around the Thanksgiving yeah. No, around St Patrick's Day. Yeah, thanksgiving.
Speaker 2It sounded like you were going to say Thanksgiving.
The Golden Ticket Candy Challenge
Speaker 3But we were just out driving around, we were having a good old time, and we ended up driving into State College. Who knows how we got there, because we drive all around and somehow we turned down this one street and next, next thing you know, there was like 20,000 students marching down the street. We're engulfed in a wave of people. We can't go forward, can't back up, can't go side to side. We couldn't do anything. We're like what's? We got stuck in a town, state college is what. Six blocks long, right, and we got stuck for like two and a half hours because we couldn't move, because it was just a throng of people just walking around.
Speaker 3Yeah, just never again always be aware when you're going to state college.
Speaker 2We're in march of state patty's day yeah, texas state patty's day is happening because you're gonna you too could get cut stock. What else? Oh, the last thing I have on my agenda and then we can wrap it up. So I saw this video on TikTok this week where I so I love following like the lore on TikTok, like the ghost.
Speaker 3Oh, I love the Lord. Like the lore law like the lore lodge. Yeah, like lore, law yeah lore lodge yeah, like lore laws yeah.
Speaker 2No, I know, I know like yes, and one of the creators told a story the other day what was? Oh? So there's an app called randonautica and it's like a geocaching app where you tell them I didn't look at the app yet, but you put in your intent of what your like vibe is for the day, or whatever, so you can put in like scary as the intent and it'll take you to like scary Head's asylum, right, or something Right. So, um, I it's. I'm going to have to do a little bit more digging because apparently this app is taking people to really scary places and I can't tell if it's a setup, right.
Speaker 3What would be? Some like you're showing up to be murdered.
Speaker 2Right Like one. People went to an abandoned house and the girl actually fell through the floor while they were creeping around in there.
Speaker 1Who would allow this?
Speaker 2Right, that's what I'm saying, so like I need to do a little bit more digging on this, but it reminded me of my most favorite scavenger hunt of all, which was kind of like geocaching on steroids, kind of not.
Speaker 3it was really fun back during covid yeah, during covid we got wrapped into one of the weirdest contests with some of the weirdest people you would ever meet.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3With good intentions, but the whole thing was a shit show.
Speaker 2It was a shit show.
Speaker 3So this guy that invented Jelly Bellies, david Klein the candy man, go watch him. There's a documentary about him. I'm not going to go down that whole rabbit hole. He invented Jelly Bellies. He sold it. He went on to make other candies. He's like a candy wizard. He is the real life. William F Wonka, yeah, and he's invented many candies. He has little midgets that are orange that follow him around and help him do things. Oh no, that's not him. He has a couple of people that help him. They're not orange that help him, we don't know what shape they are, but he is blueberry shaped.
Speaker 3He had a contest where he was going to give away a candy factory If you it was called a golden ticket challenge and there was. So there was treasure, treasure. I say treasure hidden in each state was going to do a battle and then there was going to be one. If you won the state one, if you found the state treasure, you got five thousand dollars. And so kind of like the book, the secret, that that's what it's called, right, not the secret that we always talk about.
Speaker 2Not the Rhonda Byrne secret, but the secret.
Speaker 3That's the treasure hunt the secret, the treasure hunt. Yeah, it's very similar to this. Where there's you were, there was each state, there was a series of clues. You had to pay, I think it was. What is it 50 bucks or something for tickets.
Speaker 2It was it 50 bucks or something for tickets, only 50 bucks for the entry fee. So we ended up where we lived at the time. We were actually able to enter both Maryland and Pennsylvania and we could have actually entered Virginia and West Virginia, but that was right, but yeah, I mean you have to be able to drive all over the place in these places and have time right, because you have to be able to cover the whole state if, in fact, you Right, because the clues could lead you to anything and they were pretty vague.
Speaker 3And we were partnered with my brother and his wife.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3And we were working together. You were allowed to work as teams.
Speaker 2So we covered both half of the states. They covered the east half of the state.
Speaker 3We did Maryland first. So that gave us a practice run and uh, like we were out in western maryland they were over, like down around the city and stuff. So like we were like all over the place and you know, investigating clues where we thought this might be. And well then pennsylvania came and a whole Maryland got solved pretty quickly. There was an issue with the first time. They had to do it again, do a second location. It got solved in a few hours. Some of them were really quick. Pennsylvania's went the whole day. Nobody got it. This is like a Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 3We actually came up here to the house that we're in right now. Our house, but at the time was her sister's house for a party. We were up here and we started. We noticed something in in the picture. There was a picture of the clue. So we knew that if we could figure out where we thought it was, that we might be able to use this kind of visual clue to figure this out. And I don't even know how it really happened, to be honest with you. They released a second clue because nobody found the first right.
Speaker 2So we were already looking at the picture and we had a rough idea of where in the state we wanted to go then. So the second clue said something about bombs that don't kill, or something like that bath bomb and it was bath bombs and I remember I was sitting on the steps out here and I was like I wonder if it's bath bombs and then, like, as we said, that your brother texted us and said that they believed it was in bath.
Speaker 3They thought that this other clue led up to this at a park there and we're like, oh my goodness, so sure enough. I Googled images of this park and there underneath I could see it ever so slightly, something that was in the corner of the picture of where it was, and I was like that's where it is, get there right now, go get it. And we won the five thousand dollars we kind of did it was awesome it was so fun.
Speaker 2I if I I a lot of credit to the creators of the um of the clues stephanie 30 acres in a mobile yes yeah, now it's stephanie, 30 acres, but yeah, like it was. What a fantastic concept. Administratively they could.
Speaker 3Yeah, administratively it could have been run a little bit better, but like it felt like it was so fun because it was just like we're doing it.
Speaker 2No, I wish that they did another one now that I have socials and everything like that, because for the people that had socials, they were like broadcasting.
Speaker 3And it was during COVID, so people were, it was getting people out.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you were exploring outside without bothering people. You were going.
Speaker 3Yeah, you were. I mean, none of the clues were inside. I don't think like everything was outside at a public place like a park or you know whatever, but it was like in a public area that you had access.
Speaker 2You didn't like have to you with our own little scavenger hunt across the planet, but, anyways, the only one we didn't get is Meow Death Gray. Speaking of which, listeners, if any of you have experienced this, we have a cat who likes to watch TV, and I mean, she watches it, she watches it.
Speaker 3We've had many cats that'll look at a TV if they hear like a meow or something like that. But when I tell you, this cat will settle into an episode of the Mentalist with me like you've never seen. And I mean she's watching Because you can see her head following everything on the screen. Man, she loves bones, she loves psych, she loves monk. She loves Bones, she loves Psyche, she loves Monk.
Speaker 2She loves my.
Speaker 3Cat From Hell, my Cat From Hell. She loves anything. David Attenborough, national Geographic.
Speaker 2She now loves Dr. What's his name? Dr Jeffrey.
Speaker 3No, Dr Jeffrey.
Speaker 2Yeah, dr Jeffrey, she loves Dr Jeffrey.
Speaker 3Anything with animals she loves. What started this, though? The reason that we even saw this? Because Men in Black oh right, that's exactly. The galaxy's, on Orion's belt, that cat was meowing around and she just happened to be while we were watching it and started paying attention to this cat and then, ever since then, she's been hooked on TV.
Speaker 2It's the funny thing.
Speaker 3Men in Black got her. She's a curious little. We'll put a video in at the end of this, yeah. Yeah, we'll put that in.
Speaker 2So I mean that's about it, babe, unless I mean next week is going to be. We are just it's fast moving. All I'm saying is June is coming quickly upon us, too quickly I haven't picked or packed one box yet. Too quickly I've moved no less than 30 times in my life. Per se, I might say I'm an expert at it at this point, at bossing.
Speaker 3At telling me how to move stuff. Yes, she is an expert at that Very, very good.
Speaker 2There has to be a delegator in the group, alright. Well, if nobody's told you guys this week, stay trashy. See ya Peace in the Middle East and everywhere.
Speaker 1Mainly the Middle East. I left Oklahoma to show my lombaloma, and everywhere, mainly the middle. I left Oklahoma to shabba-laba-loma, oh-ba-la-ba-doo-ba-lee-doo, shangle-doodle-dandy. Mama's got some candy. Your daddy's got some biscuits too. He had some pepperoni with his brother Tony. They went down to the night. I'm crying. Oh how I love it. Oh, how I love it. Oh, how I love it Today. How I love it Today.
Speaker 3God damn it, donnie Thank you.
