Gilded Trash
Ride shotgun with Comedian Scott Reed and Creator AlannaB as they travel the country in search of ...what? When they figure it out, you'll be the first to know!
Gilded Trash
Yinz have a favorite funeral song?
We chase the spirit of Halloween through music lore, debunk candy myths with logic, and share how we built a living room comedy club that actually works. Community plans, kitchen wins, and a bold pitch for a boutique funeral parlor bring humor and heart together.
• Misfits lore, Samhain explained, 90s rumor nostalgia
• What defines a true Halloween movie, not just horror
• SNL sketches, Garfield, VHS half-tapes as seasonal canon
• Building a home comedy club, U-bench, room design
• Booking philosophy, strong lineups, better shows
• Fetz’s open mic details, parking, prizes, kielbasa bites
• Karaoke nights, jam sessions, accordion charm
• Debunking Halloween candy panic with facts
• Candy apples and cranberries, candy thermometer basics
• Holiday cooking as craft, kitchen flow and roles
• Hospitals, cafeterias, and the good ice obsession
• Boutique funeral parlor vision, celebration-of-life format
• Christmas variety show plans and music video ideas
• Rutters vs Sheetz coffee takes
They might be giving away Penguins tickets to the Penguins Red Wings game. November 4, Tuesday, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., Fetz’s, Johnstown, Pennsylvania
Website is live
Send us your weird
Lanterns low, thunder rolls, Scott and Atlanta hit the road. Dirt roads dark, moonlight hides. Sasquatch pranks by the river side.
SPEAKER_03:Medicare parts A and B Medicare parts A and B That's my new favorite song. Medicare parts A and B.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Whenever you are.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome back. Welcome to the pod. Welcome.
SPEAKER_05:Welcome to the Gilded Trash Podcast.
SPEAKER_03:Halloween edition. Halloween. Halloween. Sawin.
SPEAKER_02:You said it right.
SPEAKER_05:What? Sawin. Sawin. I don't know what they were saying, but I know.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's spelled Sam Hain.
SPEAKER_05:No, I know. Well, you know Glenn Danzig, his band after the misfits was called Sam Hain. Well, I I it was called Sawin, but that's what everybody called it though, because you know, like metalheads have no clue. So they were like, Sam Hain, you like Sam Hain, man. I was like, who's this Sam guy?
SPEAKER_02:I l I used well, used to love Danzig. I haven't listened to them in a long time, but Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So in between Danzig and Misfits, there was a band called Sawwin where Glenn Danzig was the singer.
SPEAKER_02:So interesting little tidbit.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, they have some songs. I got a feel. I love the Misfits are like probably one of the they used to only do like shows on Halloween. It's like a whole legendary like thing around the Misfits and Halloween and stuff.
SPEAKER_02:I did not know that.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, yeah. Very scary stuff. Very scary.
SPEAKER_02:Were they doing satanic rituals?
SPEAKER_05:They might have been now in Glenn Dant now.
SPEAKER_02:So my when I think of him, um I go back to the old rumor from the 90s that he's the bastard child of Jim Morrison.
SPEAKER_05:It you know where that comes from? Because they both sing like you know what I mean? Like they both have they both sing like that.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, but however, his mom was allegedly the woman who Jim Morrison did that fake wedding, the blood ritual wedding.
SPEAKER_05:I don't know that there's any truth to that though.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know either.
SPEAKER_05:I vaguely remember I've dug into this and I don't think that I think it's pretty foolproof that Glenn Tanzig's taught the channel to Jim Bois.
SPEAKER_02:It's a fun rumor. It was fun in the 90s.
SPEAKER_05:I love those rumors. It's right up there with Marilyn Manson and his rib removal in heavy metal lore. I said, true.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, at least it's I said, is it true? We don't know.
SPEAKER_03:That's what they say.
SPEAKER_02:At least it's not the yellow Oh, what's his name? The the hamster rumors.
SPEAKER_05:The what?
SPEAKER_02:Richard Gere Hamster Rumors.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, yeah, gerbil. It was a gerbil.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, gerbil. Sorry. There's a different Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, they wouldn't have different names if there wasn't.
SPEAKER_02:They look the same to me.
SPEAKER_05:They're both rodent, little rodent creatures.
SPEAKER_02:They're cute, though.
SPEAKER_05:They're something. Especially when you put them up your pooper. No.
SPEAKER_02:Probably you do not know.
SPEAKER_05:Do you remember? There's a South Park where it's like Lemmywinks is the gerbil inside Richard Gere. And it they have a song and everything. It's like Lemmy Winks, Lemmywinks. It's like this whole thing. He's on a journey. We'll watch it after this. It's a good one.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh. Um so this is actually our second Halloween doing the podcast.
SPEAKER_03:Second Halloween.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And our second Halloween where we ain't doing shit for Halloween either.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, we've been doing lots for Halloween. We have been I've been celebrating the season by watching scary movies while I work. That's how I celebrate it. I watch Halloweens one through 19. No, but I do. I like to turn on the Halloweens. Um, this brings up a good discussion because we were talking about this a little bit at work, but Halloween movies, what exactly like through and through the sure, there's a ton of scary movies, but that doesn't necessarily make them a Halloween movie. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't view Scream as like a Halloween movie. I mean, people like to watch scary movies at Halloween, but it's not like a Halloween movie is like Hocus Pocus, where it's about Halloween.
unknown:Halloween.
SPEAKER_05:Hocus Pocus, Halloween Town, Ernest Scared Stupid, uh, you know, whatever. The Who Be Halloween? The what? Who be Halloween, yes. Who be Halloween Zoos. Yeah, that's a Halloween movie. Um But Halloween, the horror movie is sort of like it's like the crossover event. It's it's a real deal horror movie, but it's also a real deal Halloween movie. Because that's part of what makes it scary is that innate fear that you have of Halloween.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yes. So my favorite Halloween movie of all of them, though, was the one where the um television was programming people's brains. So like a pumpkin would start singing, and then like everybody was being programmed through the pumpkin.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_05:I think it's uh how you're thinking of Halloween three season of The Witch, I believe.
SPEAKER_02:Were people being brainwashed through their TVs?
SPEAKER_05:Halloween three is the only one that doesn't have to do with Michael Myers. And I know it has something to do with some witch factory, like they're making masks or something. I don't know. Um you know what somebody brought up at work today, though, their favorite Halloween thing to watch was though. Oh it's David Pumpkins.
SPEAKER_02:I cannot stand David Pumpkins. If still the fact that I already in my heart of hearts believe that Tom Hanks messes with children. Don't say that.
SPEAKER_05:Cut that out. Say Tom Hanks is engaged in other because I don't want to put that out there.
SPEAKER_02:I say it on socials all the time. I can't stand him. That whole mitten thing is so weird to me.
SPEAKER_05:It might be, but it also might be. It might be nothing.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, it could be nothing, but the fact that l other people have gotten that creeper vibe from him, and then he goes out and does David Pumpkin, which is like an animated weird version of the creeper.
SPEAKER_05:But like these rumors don't really surround Tom Hanks unless people were just like, oh, I get a creepy feel. Like, there's no accusations against Tom Hanks.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_05:No. No. But yeah, David Pumpkins. Saturday Night Live has a lot of good Halloween stuff throughout the years. That's always fun to watch. My favorite. I would like to watch my favorite was it like you talk about, of course, people talk about it's a great pumpkin, Charlie Brown. That's sort of like the that changed the game for Charlie Brown, too, because that was like the first one, right? Charlie Brown, yes, Charlie Brown's Christmas. That was sort of the game changer for because so Halloween, what you have to understand is Halloween was long a bad holiday. Trick-or-treating didn't really start till the 1950s. There was this effort to sort of get kids to calm down because they were so wowed. And uh they um so there was this big push to make it sort of like the commercial holiday that we know today, but like Charlie Brown Christmas in the 1970s, that like solidified the deal. You know what I mean? In terms of like making it this commercial kids' holiday.
SPEAKER_02:Right, right.
SPEAKER_05:And uh but my favorite though was I think it was from the 80s, it was Garfield's Halloween.
SPEAKER_02:I don't think I've ever seen that one.
SPEAKER_05:I like a go we'll watch it. I think you can still find it. I love a Garfield Halloween. I don't even know because I really wasn't into Garfield, but for whatever reason, I had a tape that had it on there, and I had a tape. So, you know, like when you're a kid, it was like four VHS tapes at your house. So one of the tapes though had like specials. Rudolph was it was like Rudolph was on there, uh Frosty the Snowman. But then there was some Halloween. Here it was the kicker, though. It was only like the last 20 minutes or 15 minutes of the Garfield special. So every time I was watching this, it always started in the middle. And I like it wasn't something that they sh showed every year. So it was just it it I don't know. There was also a half of like a My Little Pony movie on there or Care Bears or something. I don't remember.
SPEAKER_02:I oh, I used I didn't like the My Little Pony, but I loved Care Bears.
SPEAKER_05:Oh yeah, I liked Care Bears. I had Care Bear pajamas, uh, Care Bear bed sheets.
SPEAKER_02:I love me some care bears.
SPEAKER_05:I had a care bear too. I don't know nothing about the care bears. Like now, I don't remember like you know what I mean, like character names or anything like that, but I remember that I liked them.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, I wouldn't remember character names now. I mean they're all resurfacing. They're they're always they're always making the rounds. Matter of fact, half of TikTok has care bears as their profile pictures right now, but they made their own versions, so like they have like they're like a it's kind of like a mashup between a garbage pell kid and a care bear, because it's a care bear bug.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of funny. Yeah, I kind of like that. Um But yeah, I mean, uh other than that, as far as like Halloween goes, um I mean movies and shows and stuff like that. I we like to watch like episode specific of like sitcoms or whatever that's specific to Halloween, but Halloween viewing is not as plentiful as uh one might think it might be.
SPEAKER_02:No, like we need to start a whole hallmark line of Halloween chills in the movie.
SPEAKER_05:Right. That's what I'm saying. Just I people embrace Halloween almost more than Christmas. I'm surprised that they haven't capitalized on this.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I know. Like, but like I mean, they The Good Witch, kind of, like, but that's about as far as it goes. And I don't really like that movie. I mean, I don't not like her, but she's there's something.
SPEAKER_05:Is it exactly what you imagine it to be if it was you thought of a Hallmark Witch movie?
SPEAKER_02:I mean, yeah, that's exactly it.
SPEAKER_05:It's right there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Like how do I want to say it? They almost want her to be like mysterious and sexy, but she doesn't pull it off, and so it comes off campy and like it's just it feels disingenuous.
SPEAKER_05:I my thing with her is people always said that that about her being sexy, but I can't get she got that goofy eye. I can't look at it. It throws me off, man. It does. I thought that back when she was in drag. Somebody catches you with that, it's just something, and I'm not knocking it. Whatever, I get it. It's not her fault, but it just throws me off.
SPEAKER_02:Or it's just bad acting. Like, seriously, it could just be bad acting, right?
SPEAKER_05:Not only that, but she's had so much work done to her lips that it looks kind of ridiculous. I think that's part of it. She's like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02:Stop it. Don't be making fun, because I'm I told you, I've been talking to some friends this week.
SPEAKER_05:If you put something in your lips, that's gonna be the dips.
SPEAKER_02:Botox right here.
SPEAKER_05:Your lips look fine. Your face looks fine. I don't even know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't Botox.
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_02:I'm talking about it. But at any rate, we do not make fun of people for altering their appearance because that is a personal opinion that they have about themselves.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, I make fun of people's appearances regular before they do work, so it's only fair to do it after as well. And I don't think I think it's funny. I don't care if people make fun of my appearance. That's the way I look at it. Uh it's the only thing you got like that who gives a shit? At the end of the day, it don't matter.
SPEAKER_02:I don't care if people make fun of my appearance for it.
SPEAKER_05:It's fun to make fun of.
SPEAKER_02:The latest thing on TikTok is that I have teeth like a horse.
SPEAKER_05:Again, uh they go. They you can tell it when it doesn't automatically ring a bell. Like, it has to be obvious for it to be funny. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_06:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Like, you can't be making fun of somebody and you're like out here looking like like if somebody called me what but like what's funny is the Pat Noswald one. Because it's true. Like, you're like, oh yeah, I see that. You're like a little pudgy, funny looking guy. Yeah, that's why it's funny. But if people say, like, oh, you're fat, or you're short, or like they like I'm not really fat. I'm chunky, but I'm not fat. So that doesn't really work. I'm short, right? But I'm not that short. I'm not hilariously short.
SPEAKER_06:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Like, so that kind of stuff, it's like when the people go to those kind of things, you know it's full of crap. That's what I'm saying with like the horse teeth one. Like, if it's not obvious, like somebody with horse teeth, you ought to look at them and you're like, whoa, nilly.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Like, people wouldn't tell me all the time that they love my smile if the first thing was like these giant teeth, right. I mean, I do have big teeth though, and I have been conscious about like my gap in my teeth over the years, but it definitely gives me character. I've put fake veneers on to see what it would look like.
SPEAKER_05:I look weird with perfect big teeth is Horace from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. That's big teeth. I don't know who that is, but he was like, I love walk around my pills. I'm Horus. You probably shouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_02:I've heard you do that before. I just didn't know.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, he just is big goofy guy on Dr. Quinn.
SPEAKER_02:So what's like I know you've been watching like everything, and we probably talked about it last year, but what's your absolute favorite Halloween movie?
SPEAKER_05:Halloween movie, I guess Halloween. It's right in the title.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:It's right in the title.
SPEAKER_02:Hold on a second. Somebody's at the door. So I'm sure that got all picked up on camera, but that was the lady who was city council.
SPEAKER_05:Who was it?
SPEAKER_02:Uh Charlene Stanton. She's running for city council.
SPEAKER_05:What's she doing? What's she about?
SPEAKER_02:Um not using eight million dollars of city's funds to build a useless park. She's about more police, cleaning up the crime, cleaning up the neighborhoods. Um, she has a cat rescue site, so I'll look into that. Yeah, I'll cut this out. Like, I don't I don't want to talk about it until after the election.
SPEAKER_05:No, I have no I need to look into her. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I'm not endorsing anyone, but I've she's very vital on the I'm endorsing Taylor Clark.
SPEAKER_05:I know him. We know him. I stand by him.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, which sucks because Taylor is way left leaning.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, it doesn't eat he's not though. He's like a he is, but he's not the road. Yeah, it's middle of the road. But anywhere here you're gonna be left-leaning, especially when you're under 30 or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05:And he's not left-leaning on the weird stuff. He's just, I mean, how kids are.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but no, I fully say, but he's a gr he's a business owner owner. He's he's a great businessman, he's a great spokesperson.
SPEAKER_05:We need everybody involved if Johnstown's gonna turn around. It don't matter what side they argue. The only side is us and them. Are you gonna do something for the city? Are you gonna be a fucking douchebag like the rest of these morons have been running this town for the last 50, 60 years? Come on down here.
SPEAKER_02:Come on, down here. I can't even do it. I just turned Cajun. Uh, I can't do a Pittsburgh accent. Like it just comes out of my face.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I've caught the other day when I was in the shower doing comedy, I caught myself saying something and I was like, Jesus Christ. It like sounded so it was so it's like, do you I can't even do it? And I didn't even, you know, like I said, the more Trevor Austin said this to one time I heard him talking about it. Like the more you do it as like an exaggeration, the more it becomes part of you.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that's a great segue because we can talk about our show. You we were surrounded Saturday by Pittsburgh, right? Yeah. And so Blake's accent, oh my God.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, he does those O's funny. That's it's no, I know it's all of them. They all it's all pronounced. Um But yeah, no, but let's go back to it. We built this, you know that we've been building a comedy club here in our house. We finally we did it. We pulled the trigger, we had a show. It went uh it went really, really well.
SPEAKER_02:It went really without a heads. It really did.
SPEAKER_05:And um we'll definitely do it again. And um, yeah, the food was great. We had way too much food per usual. As always. Per usual, but this felt really excessive. Um no, but it was great. Like it turned out so well. It was a great room filled with laughter. Everybody had a great time. We had a lot of fun. Um, I just can't say enough how much I love those benches there. I built benches. That's what I did. I built benches.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm really proud of you, babe. I mean, you've never built anything like that before. I don't build. I'm not a builder. We didn't have like true specs or anything. We just kind of used YouTube and Chat GPT and you figured it out, right?
SPEAKER_05:Like I I did a little bit of measuring, a little bit of cutting here and there, bing bang, got yourself a bench.
SPEAKER_02:And it's a U bench, it goes along it's so I'll show the picture for those of you who have not been bombarded by my Facebook post about it. But the one wall is 12 feet long. So the one so it's 12 feet in the long section, and then it's four feet on the shorter sections on each side. The other one you made a little bit longer than four feet, but still. Yeah, six feet. It's six feet. So like it covers that whole half of the room, and it's it's amazing because that that piece of the room just felt like it was weirdly.
SPEAKER_05:And it's solid. It's solid. How I did the middle part that unbelievable. You've seen everybody sit. Your brother, Mark, we're all sitting there, so that sucker will hold you. That sucker will hold you.
SPEAKER_02:Um and it's it's a great little space now because it fits the 10-foot table, right? So we can put the 10-foot table there and have dinner. We can have Oh yeah. That's we can do whatever now. That room is.
SPEAKER_05:We have so much more room for activities. And it really can it the room can really be anything you want to be because that's the beauty. It's not, it's a shapeless room now. Right. In the sense of you can be whatever you want it to be. If you want to have a football party in there, you can have a football party in there. If you want to have a big dinner, you can have a big dinner. You want to have a comedy show, have a comedy show. Karaoke, you can do it. You can do whatever you want with it.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Because it's a blank slate. It's a blank slate.
SPEAKER_02:And I can't think of I can't even talk about all the future things that I want to have in there in about 10 years because I can't talk about it, but you know what I mean. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I know. So many things. I have to say too, this picture behind me, and it's very distracting, the combination of the My Chemical Romance album at the bottom of this guy. When I'm turned like this and you can't see the edge, because the my picture is small in the camera, it looks like the menu to Rocky's Cascade Pizza. It looks like the pizza's at the bottom, and there's a guy standing up top doing something with the pizza.
SPEAKER_02:I can see pizza now. I can see pizza.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, tell me that's and that's just in my I'm like, why do I have a giant pizza menu hanging on my wall? Now, in the big, it doesn't look like that. Anybody looking at this in a big frame is never gonna see it, but because the picture's small as I'm looking in the camera, it looks like a pizza menu.
SPEAKER_02:I can totally see that now that you said that. Yeah, I love it.
SPEAKER_03:So weird.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god. So um, yeah, so you built a bench, we're gonna do so many things with that room. It's amazing. Um, the turnout on Saturday was great. The food, the but what was that?
SPEAKER_05:The turnout was okay. We could have had a little bit better. But it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Everybody had a great time. That's all that matters. The crowd was good. That's how they behave is more important than the size, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Like, would I have liked to have a couple more bodies and seats? Absolutely. And if y'all didn't show up, you're dumb for not coming because it was a blast.
SPEAKER_05:But yeah, you'd have had a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_02:But the pe but when I say great turnout, like literally the whole room was vibrating with laughter from beginning to end. It was a great one. Right.
SPEAKER_05:The people that came, it was fun, had a good time. Had a good time.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, it was stupid.
SPEAKER_05:They come down here, they had a good time. That's um no, but we of course had I mean, the lineup though, I mean, of course we knew it was gonna be that good because we personally curated the list. But I just have to say, like, I'm really good at ranking comedians. Like, because we always get like the to me, what I think is like the best. We go to a lot of shows, and um, you know, there's always a person or two you're like, I could have probably done them. But I feel like I'm like the the way that I try to do it is I want to be the worst one on my own show. I know that sounds dumb.
SPEAKER_02:No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
SPEAKER_05:It only makes you look better.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:You understand what I'm saying? Like, if you're just amongst the men that's something that I think people sometimes are afraid, is like to get people that are too funny. I don't think that. That's only gonna elevate your comedy. People only remember the good stuff. They don't remember like they're gonna be like, uh, that one guy, whatever. That's all they're gonna say, like, if you're not impactful. So it's like, I'd rather just have the the best show possible.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Um But yeah. And it just elevates the whole thing. But yeah, no, it was it was great. I think everybody really, I mean, had a great time. I didn't hear any negative reviews. Um, which brings up another interesting point. We're gonna talk about it right here, real quick. I'm gonna try to snag an interview, but I haven't even heard anything from him, and it's like four days away. Um we got an open mic coming up at Fetsis Sports Pub here in Johnstown this coming Tuesday, November 4th, 2025. They're gonna give away prizes. I'm gonna do a feature set. Uh Frank's gonna host. It's gonna be grand. We try to get as many people in there as we can. Fetsis has good food. Get yourself some of them little barbecue kiebossi bites, and things will knock your socks off.
SPEAKER_02:So good. Oh my god. I love those barbecue kiebosis.
SPEAKER_05:I don't even know. Here's the thing is like, I've done them here at the house numerous times. It's like not even the same thing. I don't know what they're doing or what they're using or how they're cooking it, but those little bastards are good, man.
SPEAKER_02:Well, first of all, they either they brown them on the grill a little bit, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, yeah, for sure, 100%.
SPEAKER_02:But I can't figure out some of the sugar, I think.
SPEAKER_05:Right, but here's the kicker, though, is I can't figure out if they cook them then, if they grill them and put them in the sauce and just serve them, or if they cook them, put them in the sauce and they're like on a pot and they're just dipping them out. That's another scenario, which is what I think might be happening, which is why the flavor is so rich in the barbecue sauce and you get such a good caramelization of those sugars.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god. Uh well, you could ask Chad, I guess. He might tell you his child's secret.
SPEAKER_04:I I'm sure that he probably will.
SPEAKER_02:That's the other thing that I like about having the open mic there is that it's super accessible. It's right in the city.
SPEAKER_05:If you're coming to Johnstown, it's literally the easiest place to go. And they have a huge parking lot right across the street.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:You know, you know what I mean? Because you can park right there at the stadium. So it's like the ease with which to go there is uh you're not gonna find another venue in Johnstown that you can get to as easy as you can get to Fetses if you're coming from somewhere else.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Outside of Johnstown. Like if you're in Johnstown, it is what it is. It's the same as going anywhere else. But if you're coming from Altoona or some a lot of these people are gonna be coming in from out of town, Altoona, State College, Huntington, wherever they may come from, Bedford, wherever. It's literally when you get into Johnstown, I mean it's bing bang boom, right off the highway. If you can call it a highway, which I don't, but and they have a lot of space there.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, inside of Fetzes, like it kind of almost looks small from outside, and you're not sure, but there's plenty of room in there.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, there's tables. I love that place. Yeah, there's plenty of room at the bar. The bar goes around. It's it's yeah, it's a good little place. I love fetzes. We love going there. Karaoke.
unknown:Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I haven't done karaoke in front of us. Except for at my own house.
SPEAKER_05:Here is my question, though, to the masses. Is because I heard that he's not going to do karaoke more since we moved here, but is JR still used to karaoke at Fetz's? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:But he still does it at Rockies on Friday nights.
SPEAKER_05:What's that?
SPEAKER_02:I don't know if he does it at Fetz's anymore, but he still does it at Rockies on Friday nights.
SPEAKER_05:Well, I'm just saying he's supposedly never gonna do karaoke again every time I've ever, they're like, this is J.R.'s last time doing karaoke. And maybe that's how they get people there. I don't know. But no, I love J.R. I'm not not I'm not saying like anything against him. I just and I know that it ha he's changing jobs and he changes, you know, that he's made some different decisions along the way as far as what he wanted to do with the business. But I'm just kidding, I'm giving him a hard time busting his balls because it does feel like we've been to like nine different final JR karaokes.
SPEAKER_02:Right?
SPEAKER_05:Am I wrong in that?
SPEAKER_02:Like no. No. You're not gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_05:There's a couple times we're like, oh, we'll make sure we come out for that because it's the last one.
SPEAKER_02:Like, then a week later I see a post.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. No, I think I'm pretty sure he's still doing it at Rockies over in Woodvale.
SPEAKER_05:Uh I think he's still doing it at Fetz's, too.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think he might be right. But didn't they say there's a um open like a open mic, a music open mic there on Thursdays or something?
SPEAKER_05:They do uh jam night or whatever on Thursdays, I think. Or no, karaoke's. I don't know. One of the next one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, karaoke's Wednesday.
SPEAKER_05:Maybe Wednesday, Wednesday's karaoke, Thursday's jam night.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. But jam night, I mean, that's interesting. I wouldn't mind going down for that because I used to jam out at Dively's around here. But we have a lot of friends out the out tune away who like to do jam.
SPEAKER_05:Who are doing a lot of gigging. Doing a lot of gigging and jam. Doing a lot of jamming. Kevin, Alyssa, um We got the guy that plays the accordion. I love that guy.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:He has a country roads accordion that I love, man. Good stuff.
SPEAKER_02:I know. I'm like seriously obsessed. I want to learn how to play the accordion now.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I know. It's crazy. It's fun. It looks fun. Because there's so much going just a lot of this.
SPEAKER_02:It looks like peaceful too. It looks, it's, it feels like it would work my chicken wings off. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05:As long as we're not doing polka, I think we're fine. Polka. Yamavuchi polka. Kiss me polka.
SPEAKER_02:I so up at Lorraine Borough at the at the we call it the ball field, but um it's actually like an event place for folks who don't know. Um they have pavilions there and this, that, and the other. Well, um, they used to have a polka fest. I'm sure they probably still do. I just haven't been to it in forever. Oh my god, polka fest is so I love polka fest.
SPEAKER_05:I imagine that polka fest is a lot better than polka music because you have polka food. Polka kebasi.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Polka kilbasi. Polska kilbass. Polska kilbasi. But yeah, no, I uh I imagine you got lots I bet that's a sausage fest in more than one way.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, but I Graham used to she could Yodo a little bit and she would be like, did ee, did eat, did, but she would do it to like polka music. So she'd walk around the house did eat did eat and all the time to polka tunes, and her birds would pick it up, and her birds could like did polka.
SPEAKER_03:Polka polka.
SPEAKER_02:There's something about polka music. I just like it.
SPEAKER_05:I guess because I grew up here and it's like a it's not wholly Western Pennsylvania, but it kind of no, it's not because what's weird about it is you see a huge the accordion is a fascinating instrument because look at its influence on country Western music via the way of Mexico.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Because Southwest music, Mexican music, uh has a lot of accordion in it. They love an accordion.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:But it's where it comes. Right, but it because of those German immigrants that went to Mexico. That a big part of that, that's where that all comes from in Mexico.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, so because it's a I I mean you can fact check it. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that it was German influence on Mexican music that led to um because there was a lot of immigrants that went to Mexico to be like cowboys and stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_05:And so, but a big part of it, and so they had the music and stuff that goes with it. So I'm I'm almost pretty, pretty, pretty sure about that.
SPEAKER_02:Pretty pretty sure. Um what did I say that I wanted to talk about? And I was like, oh.
SPEAKER_05:Something in Halloween, Pennsylvania?
SPEAKER_02:No, Tappy's giving us crap for that. Oh, well, let's talk about something that comes up every single year. Every year. There's the lore and there's the tells, and there's the people giving you uh tips and advice. I thought, I thought that it was my parents lying to me so they could eat half my candy before I figured out what was in my damn box or my bag.
SPEAKER_05:Well, that's what it was.
SPEAKER_02:That's what I thought it was. But every year, this year it's fentanyl. They're putting fentanyl in the candy.
SPEAKER_05:Well, this started back in it started the same time as satanic panic back in the 80s. This whole candy.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Like that people were just massively dosing. You could go to the hospital, get your handy x-rayed. I never forget that because we did that one year and we waited. It was like two hours at the hospital. It was never again, mom said. Who needed it? Oh my god. She's like, and I remember well, what's hilarious is she's I remember saying, Your dad did find one thing that looked open, so he ate it. As if that's the solution, if it's poisoned, like I'm gonna eat this just in case it's poisoned. Just in case. So that logic just cracks me up.
SPEAKER_02:And when they say drugs, like, are you fucking kidding me? Who's wasting their drugs on children? Because like a couple years ago, like this year it's fentanyl, which is scary. I mean, that's just scary. But a couple years ago it was um MDMA or like Molly or whatever that they were allegedly putting in the candy. Like, who's giving away Molly free to kids?
SPEAKER_05:And not only that, but like I sure I could see accidental like fentanyl poisoning. You know what I mean? Like, so first off, how many fentanyl addicts do you know are giving away candy and trigger treat? Like, just from a perspective of things, like these people are not participating in society in the way that the rest of us are. The fact that they're like, let me get a bag of candy to give out to the kids. So that's the thing. Any money they have is going to fentanyl.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and if you look it up that, like statistically, the times that that has been actually done, it was people going after their own kids. Like their intent was to get their own kids. So I found it.
SPEAKER_05:They fake some kind of accident or something, right?
SPEAKER_02:Right. So the original one of that happened in Texas in the 70s, and the guy um he took pixie sticks and poisoned them with um cyanide. But he went it was to kill his son because he wanted the insurance money. So it did indeed happen one time in Texas.
SPEAKER_05:And that's not even drugs. Cyanide isn't even like the stories you always hear is it's like you might accidentally get crack. You know, like it's not it's never like the poison's a whole different thing.
SPEAKER_02:Like Right, exactly. Or like the range of blades. It's it's all just hyperbole.
SPEAKER_05:Like just Yeah, it's all just it's just you it was scare tactics for whatever reason. I don't even really know. Again, like the satanic panic. I'm not sure what the purpose of it really was, but um it didn't amount to anything. How many kids do we stop from eating razor blades out of apples? First off, you got an apple in your Halloween bag, you ain't fucking eating that thing. You're throwing it, you're pitching it. That's crap and garbage. Nobody that was trying to do anything would put it in apple. If you really wanted to trick it, you would like insert in the middle of the Snickers bar. Like the logic is completely out the window.
SPEAKER_02:Like Right.
SPEAKER_05:It just doesn't make sense. Again, uh, because it didn't happen. It's not happening. People, it's just not something that's not. I'm not saying it's never happened, and I'm not saying that it never could happen or would happen. Anything can happen.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:But like the idea that there's like risk, right?
SPEAKER_02:So that's what people are playing on is your willingness to risk your child. So it's just people who want to incite fear, and what like that's gonna be the thing that you're afraid of most is that your child gets hurt, right? And for most people uh who have children, that's gonna be their fear of all fears. It's a mind game, it's a control factor. Anytime that you are able to assert fear into somebody else's life, that person gets a little giddiness out of it. But if people just actually fucking thought through it logically, they would arrive at the same conclusions that we do. There's calculated risk in everything that you do in life, but that's a lot more people.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, it's just not a it's just not really a thing. It's just yep, like you said, I just don't I'm not into it.
SPEAKER_02:I may or may not give out candy tomorrow. I want to, kind of, but it's also two to the city.
SPEAKER_05:Here's the thing is I love the idea of giving out candy. That sounds funny.
SPEAKER_02:I wanna give it out.
SPEAKER_05:Like I'm not gonna have to have candy Listen, we're gonna have plenty of candy to there's gonna be pl we can't talk about it. We can talk about it, but we're gonna have plenty of opportunities in the future to participate in these activities. So I'm concerned that I've been missing out.
SPEAKER_02:I'm looking forward to hay rides and pumpkin carvings and mazes.
SPEAKER_05:None of that takes place on trick or treat, but that's the bonus part of it though, is all the field activities. Petting zoos, pick your own pumpkin patch, uh press your own cider. Apple cider slushies. I saw somebody was doing I think it was at the treasure apple ranch or whatever. It was like cider slushies with ice cream.
SPEAKER_02:Like a that sounds amazing.
SPEAKER_05:Like a you know what it's like. Like a snowball. Yeah, like yeah, like a snowball, but with apple cider slushie instead of you know, whatever flavor you can use.
SPEAKER_02:That sounds so good. It's like apple pie a la mode, right? Yeah, kinda.
unknown:Sure.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna have to try that. I need to go try that. Let's write down the treasures this weekend. Treasures.
SPEAKER_05:I think I saw that it was like I th it they might not even be doing it anymore. That's how you know what I mean. I'll have to look. Because it was like a limited thing. I'm saying they were not doing it. I don't I don't know if they'll still be doing it this weekend.
SPEAKER_02:But we can speak of uh Halloween apple confectioneries, I decided to try my hand at making um candied apples. But first I tried it on cranberries. That was really effing good. I've never made hard fat candy before, so it was kind of messy, but I would do it again.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, the cranberries were delicious. I'd eat a pile of them. If it was a little bit less messy, I felt like they got a little sticky. It'd be less I mean, of course it's candy, it's gonna be sticky, but like like you said, the ability to be able to eat, but they're addictive as hell.
SPEAKER_02:Uh candy apples, I mean Yeah, I just I need to learn how to set the candy better. That was my very first go at it. So the f the I one thing that I did wrong, especially with the apples, is that you have to make sure that they're completely dry. So I strained them, but they were uh soaking in lemon juice and water so that they could retain their like color. And it's a preservative, right? So they were soaking in a lemon juice. I didn't pat them dry when I dipped them.
SPEAKER_05:Candy, much like smoking meats or baking, is a learning curve. You learn little tricks as you go along. You get to eat your mistakes, that's the best part, and it always tastes good. But like you learn things to make it the best. So I have no doubt that you'll be whooping up candy apples regular style in no time. Um I love a good, I would like to do, you know, you always see them like the with the nuts on the like the caramel ones. Like you see the different ones, like not just candy or caramel apple, but like uh the gourmet ones. I don't want it too fancy, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like I want it like a Jimmy's or Crushnuts or yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But so candy thermometer is an absolute game changer. I had one before, but it wasn't the right style. This one is perfect. It was like 12 bucks at Walmart. Oh my god, is a game changer because now I can make I can make Taffy, I can make Divinity, I can make all the candies now.
SPEAKER_05:Uh well, that's funny that the thermometer is really the key there, just like with smoking meats. Your thermometer is your best friend, much like candy making. It's like it's just the thing that you have to have to make sure that it's like working correctly. That you're because all those things are those things, candy making, smoking meats, it's yeah, you're just taking a temperature, but the reason you're doing it is because the science behind it is the chemistry that's taking place within the ingredients. You have to have that at a certain temperature, whereas other forms of cooking, it's not quite as much.
SPEAKER_02:It's right. There's some variants. You're absolutely right. And so, you know, we love watching those shows. Like, remember that one show where the guy made all the crazy chocolate creations? He was like a chocolate sculptor or whatever.
SPEAKER_05:I'll turn it on right now. It's uh what's his face? Uh yeah, he's got the little mustache, he's French.
SPEAKER_02:He does the sugar sculptures.
SPEAKER_05:He's the best in the world, like.
SPEAKER_02:When I was doing the sugar, when I was making the candy, like I was like, so have you ever watched somebody mold a candle? So you take a candle, a candle, and you dip it in a vat of cold water, and then you ladle melted wax over it in the cold water, and you can like twist it and turn it. I watched one girl make a dragon holding onto a candle just by using water and twisting in the water and pouring more wax. So I was doing not doing it with the candy, but I was seeing how I could do that with the candy to make shapes, like how he made like the bird's nest and the glass globe and all that. I'm learning how to do all that now. I'm gonna make a I'm gonna learn how to make like sugar creations out of everything.
SPEAKER_05:Now that's fun. That's something I can get behind.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Um, no, well, this brings up another interesting point because now we're talking about food and stuff, but now we're headed into the real like Super Bowl era of the food. So literally, within the next three months, you have Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Super Bowl. Four big food events. You know what I mean? In a three-month span where you get all the good stuff. All the good stuff. Like each meal's different, too. Cause like Thanksgiving, you know, of course, we know what Thanksgiving is. Christmas is usually similar to the Thanksgiving, but it's usually done purposely different because you just had Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:New Year's is like all party food. It's all your little weenies and your fucking bacon wrap things and your fucking barbecued fucking shrimps. I ate so many shrimp. I got i dine poison. Um little 3-6 UGK for you, sipping on some scissors. Um but the you know, and then of course the Super Bowl's similar to what I would say is New Year's, but there's a little probably more substance behind it. Because Super Bowl, you want a good meal, eat a hoagie, eat some pizzas, something like that, you know. Um so it's good. It's it's my favorite, favorite three months.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I mean favorite three months from the Halloween to the Super Bowl. Yeah. Cause for me, it's not the same as like your everyday cooking. It's a project, it's a craft, it's an art. You're doing extra things with all the things. So, like, I absolutely love to be Betty Crocker during the holidays. It's my favorite vibe, is like just having music or something going on in the kitchen, TV, and just running around cooking all day. I love it. It's it's like peaceful for me. Like it's a very um, like when I'm angry, cooking is probably a good place for me to like get out of my brain. If I'm like too inside myself, start cooking. Cause then it like I'm concentrating, I'm forgetting about like the crap, and I'm just like in the moment cooking.
SPEAKER_05:Well, that's what I was gonna say is I think it's the task because it in cooking, you're focused. You know, this is the order, this is what this, d-da-da-d, d- d-d-d. Like it takes you out of your you as a process. Most of the time throughout your day, you're not in that sort of regimented step by step by step by step. So you like you said, it gives you that sort of I don't know, turn your mind off kind of thing and focus on something else.
SPEAKER_02:It's like a worried. It's not a mindless activity because you do have to put your mind to it, but you're you're concentrating and thinking through. And I've said this very often. I would love to see a video from like a we need to put a ring cam in the kitchen when we're doing an event. Because like I swear it's like a cable, dude. It's like a symphony, right? Of you and I, because we know our stations, we know who's prepping what, we know who's gonna be chopping veg. Like, we always kind of know where we're gonna be in the kitchen at what time. We like, and it's not like we sit down and have a meeting and talk about it. We're like, okay, I'm making this at this time, this at this time. And then, like, but the activity of us just kind of gliding through the kitchen past each other doing our things, it's kind of cool.
SPEAKER_05:Well, I think because we we have a good kitchen to do. We've this never worked previously.
SPEAKER_02:It's the space, it's like I mean it did, but not as well.
SPEAKER_05:But the reason that you and I do is because when we set out to do it, I don't help you with your stuff. You don't help me with my stuff. We have our jobs, we're doing them, and we know that the other person's doing theirs, so you're just mindful of what they're doing and where they're doing it.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Umperates. I mean, that's how a good kitchen operates.
SPEAKER_02:Well, we've both worked in kitchens.
SPEAKER_05:Everybody should know their station, like you said. What's that?
SPEAKER_02:I said we've both worked in kitchens as well, so we get it.
SPEAKER_05:Well, yeah, but that doesn't automatically mean you know what's going on, because 90% of the people I worked in the kitchen had no clue of this concept. Uh but that's the way that it's supposed to work, and a good kitchen manager makes that happen. That's why you that's why it's important to have somebody like that. You can't just have a head cook. A perfect example, like local establishment that we know that rhymes with Smurchard. Like, yeah, he's a head cook, but like he's not managing the kitchen. You need to manage the kitchen and manage the people and the workflow and who's doing what. It can't just be a free-for-all.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly.
SPEAKER_05:I would love I like doing it. I like running a kitchen, but the problem is the only kitchen that I ever want to run is mine, and I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_06:Right.
SPEAKER_05:Like, I like the idea of it and concept, and when I'm doing it, I like doing it. And yeah, if I could make a gazillion dollars doing it, I would. But like pay is not there for people to manage kitchens.
SPEAKER_02:Like No. Not even higher.
SPEAKER_05:If you found the right situation and the right people, could an offer be made? Sure. If you hear me out there, some of those people have told me that they would love to make me that offer if they ever own their own place. So feel free. Uh because I do enjoy that pressure. I like I like the kitchen and I like the you know what I mean? Like I like the hotness, I like the people firing back and forth.
SPEAKER_02:It's that. It's the fast pace, but you know it's gonna be over at some point. There's a stopping point to it. You know at 10 o'clock you're not getting you're not accepting another order or whatever the case may be. So that's why I love it. Because like, even like when I worked up at South Mountain, I used to be like there would be a group coming in, like right before I was ready to shut everything down. I'd be like, hell yeah, put the tickets through because it's the last one. I know that's the last thing I have to do tonight. Right. So absolutely I love busy kitchens. I love them. Home, restaurant. It's just a cool place to be. It's like the ER. I like hanging out in the ER too.
SPEAKER_05:It's a better ER. You can't eat nothing in the ER. I mean, maybe if you got a good cafeteria, I'll tell you what, them chicken patties down there at the Waynesburg Hospital shout out there. Nah, I'm decent. But no, I you know I love a good cafeteria, and a hospital is one of the I judge a lot. I mean, there's some good ones, there's some bad ones, but I like it when I love when a hospital serves nothing but unhealthy food. I hate these ones that try to be modern, it's just like salads and shit. Nah, fuck that. Yeah. I want a chicken patty, a burger, and a sausage egg, and cheese, my friend.
SPEAKER_02:Right before I go in.
SPEAKER_05:And that way, if I have a heart attack, I can head right upstairs to the fourth floor and get myself zapped or whatever I need done.
SPEAKER_02:Speaking of which, I do speaking of hospitals though, um we were out at UPMC in Altuna, right? Is that what it is? Is it a UPMC? Yeah. Now, their snack bar bar has a Starbucks in it. It has like good pretzels, it had all the stuff, but the only beef I had with their cafe, their menu fucking like you couldn't, I it was pictures.
SPEAKER_05:You didn't even know what they had.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't know what they had. Somebody was walking away with this gorgeous fucking sandwich, and I didn't know what I wasn't gonna be like, hey, can I like that's rude. So yeah, I mean, but the food was good. It's such like the layout of their hospital. I love the whole thing about their hospital. I'm obsessed with hospitals too, because I've been working in medical settings for the past 20 years. So like I like the hustle and bustle of an ER as much as I like the hustle and bustle of a kitchen. Um and I'm and I'm like when I go to hospitals, I'm like in it. Like I'm I'm checking everything out, where how everything's laid out, all of it.
SPEAKER_05:As long as I'm not the one that's there for an affliction or whatever I'm there for, as long as I'm just a visitor, then I'm I'm I'm scouting it out. Snack bars, vending machines, soda pop. No, I do. I check, I'm like, what can I get from there? What can and that's how I've always been as a kid because that was like the opportunity to like get something because you weren't at home.
SPEAKER_02:You like So my big thing at the hospital is their ice machines. Like, cause you know, like on the floors, they have the good, good. They have the crunchy little shave little.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, some probably do.
SPEAKER_02:The best ones do.
SPEAKER_05:I think it's probably like convenience stores. Some are rudders, some are sheets, some are whatever. Some got good ice, some got bad.
SPEAKER_02:So it's funny though that when people say the good ice, we're all referring to the crunchy ice. Like it we don't that's the common nomenclature or whatever. Like nobody's ever calling those hard ass. Nobody's calling those hard ass little cubes that have the holes in the middle. Nobody's calling those the good ice. No, it's the crunchy ice, like the soft.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, rudders has it in those little pellets. It's that's the good stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, the pellets. But it's the texture of them. I don't even care what shape they are. It has to be like the soft, almost like a slushy, but like not.
SPEAKER_05:The shape has a lot to do with it though. The shape has a lot to do with the way that it freezes. You know what I mean? Like, so that that has a lot to do with that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah, I just I love the good ice.
SPEAKER_03:The good ice, party.
SPEAKER_02:There was something else that I wanted to talk. Oh. So um it is Halloween themed, but not necessarily, and it keeps coming up in my feed for so many reasons. So we're just gonna lay this, lay this all out. It's not Halloween specific, but I gotta pee real quick and then we're gonna talk about it.
SPEAKER_05:Neither was Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02:But did the camera pick up me pee? You're weird.
SPEAKER_05:Yep.
SPEAKER_02:Could you hear me? You you could? No. Could you hear my pee?
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, because I was gonna sell to OnlyFans if you could.
SPEAKER_05:No, I couldn't hear it, but here's what I do here. Do I kind of look like a wrestler?
SPEAKER_02:Yes. You do look exactly like a wrestler. You look exactly like a wrestler. No, I was gonna sell my um peeing noise to OnlyFans.
SPEAKER_05:Don't talk about that. Don't talk about that. That's disgusting. People don't that's so horrid that we live in a society where people are actually doing the Anyway.
SPEAKER_02:So then this might gross you up. No, we've talked about this before. So I want to open a boutique funeral parlor.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, yeah, that's nice. That's not selling pee for Christ's sakes.
SPEAKER_02:Umeral parlor. Yeah, what do you think it is?
SPEAKER_05:A boutique funeral parlor? That's where you'd have like cool funerals.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah, like badass funerals. So here's where the thought stemmed from. I'm just gonna give everybody the history so they can be in my brain with me. One of my favorite movies when I need to let it all out and sob my heart out is P.S. I Love You. It also has a stellar soundtrack. Yeah, yes. It has a stellar soundtrack. And one of my favorite songs that I listen to on the regular is If I ever leave this world alive. Um it is, I think, is it flogging Molly or um Oh shit. Hold on. I need to look this one up because I don't want to Yeah, I'm not sure. The pogs it's the Pogues. Who sings if I ever leave this world alive on the movie P.S. I Love You.
SPEAKER_03:If I have her, leave this world alive.
SPEAKER_02:I'm okay. But I thank you. Um it is flogging, Molly. I was right the first time.
SPEAKER_05:There you go.
SPEAKER_02:Ha ha go. But yeah, is one it's one of my absolute hands-down favorite songs. And the premise of the song or the movie, like I'm sure most people know already, because it's like a hundred years old, is that um he knows he's dying, so he like sets it up so that she gets all these experiences after he dies, right? Um but one of my favorite scenes is they're all sitting around his ashes, just like doing shots in a bar. That is that's me. When I die, just fucking sit around, put my ashes in the room wherever you are, do a bunch of shots, sing a bunch of songs. Don't sing four non-blondes because I've aired that one out. Don't sing me and Bobby McGee because I've aired that one out. Those don't represent me as a human. I will leave a list of songs you can sing on my behalf. One of them, if I ever leave this world alive. So that got me thinking about well, I want a place where everybody's a funeral dream first. Yeah, you absolutely can, but I just but we gotta segue into they have to have the visual though, right? So I want to open this boutique funeral parlor where you can do wild things at the funerals within reasonable limits of the law, right? But where you could there is a bar, you can play badass music. I can speak from experience. Some of the songs that I played at my son's funeral, I was getting fucking dirty looks. And I don't ever want to have anybody be getting dirty looks for their family's songs. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_05:That's part of it too, though, is having the attached bar. That makes it pretty great. You're like, where's Steve? Over at the bar. How great would it be to have? I can't believe nobody ever put a bar in a funeral home before. I mean, it's perfect.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, let's see if they have. No, I'm not. I'll look it up later.
SPEAKER_05:But yeah, like not now, but I'm sure that maybe somebody has, but Right.
SPEAKER_02:Like I I mean People are paying twenty thousand dollars or more for a funeral. I wouldn't even charge that much. My boutique funeral parlor would be you can get an open bar for like a thousand bucks. Right, exactly. Like, come on now. I want it to be a celebration of life parlor, but only after the person's dead. We do parties for the living too all the time. But this I just I'm attached. I want people to go out the way that they want to, right? Which leads into how you want to go out.
SPEAKER_05:Well, what the thing is though is that what people look when you go to a funeral, what's everybody everybody's like when the actual funeral part's over, that's when the real fun begins. And I don't mean fun, but like that's when you're able to talk to people, like hug it out, tell stories, share, laugh, cry, eat, drink, do whatever. Everybody loves the thing afterwards, the reception, whatever you call it. Seems weird to call that the reception when that's what you call the thing after a wedding, but regardless, right? Um, the reception and like or the party back at the house, you know what I mean, or whatever. That's what everybody looks forward to because that's when they've really going for. So why not just make the whole thing that? Like, no fan. If you walk in here in a suit and tie, you're getting punched in the face, Bob. No, I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_02:But you can do whatever you want. I mean, some people want might want like a tuxedo-only funeral. Whatever your wish is.
SPEAKER_05:Right. I agree. We would tend to do that, but if that's what you want, then probably go into our boot TV or parlor's not the place for you. But if that's what you want, that's what we'll give you. But this all brings to the culmination of what I would love of this is, and this is what I'm gonna do at my funeral, this is what I want done. I'm gonna shoot video beforehand. Like when they cremate me and stuff, I want I'm gonna have to get with the people that are doing this because I need to have some visionary, director visionary like thing over my own video in my funeral. But I want, as people walk in, I want the gates of hell are open wide by Alan Jackson playing. So that way they're like, where's Scott? And it's like the gates of hell are open wide.
SPEAKER_02:Open wide.
SPEAKER_05:Then when they say something about the flames, they're gonna be like pushing me into the fucking fire of the thing. And that's gonna be playing in the video. Yeah. They're gonna be pushing my video of them pushing my coffin into the cremator, and I'll just, and they'll be like, and then I'm like at the gates of hell, and I'm like there, like welcoming you to the carnival of hell. And I'm just like standing there, like in Alan Jackson, like in a shiny cowboy suit with a cowboy hat, like like this, sort of like the gate, the you know, when you picture, I always think of the back of the Led Zeppelin 4 album where the person just like stand there with the stick like next to the thing or whatever. Like just something simple like that, where it's like just welcoming you to hell. Um, I'm gonna have all sorts of hell jokes, Satan jokes. I don't I want it to be really a good time. I want the people that are like Christians in my family to probably feel uncomfortable with it, but they'll know me, so it'll be fine. Because I want people to be like, uh I want them to be I want the person like officiating to be like, Scott is down there now smiling up at us. Well, he's probably not smiling, he's probably screaming. But yeah, I want it to be fun, I want it to be a good time.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I want the last thing that people think about me is to be like that goofy fucker.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I just want to be planted. Um, I want my ashes to be a weeping willow tree. That's all. And but the actual, like I said, the part I want everybody to just be drinking and telling the crazy stories. I'm having a good time. For me, like, depending on who outlives me, there's some fucking crazy stories that could be shared that are fun, funny. People are gonna laugh because I was a bitch and just like street fought all the time. People are gonna laugh because I roast people all the time. I'm I'm not a stand-up comic, but I'm funny to fucking people because of the way I talk shit. Um I oh me, I don't want to be known for talking shit. Oh. Uh well, anyways.
SPEAKER_05:Um, I don't think that'd be the main thing that people know you for.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_05:I think people know who you ask for. I think the number one thing it be Well, I think if you ask around, I think the number one thing that people would be like, who's such a great singer? She's such a great singer. We want a videos of her doing it. That's what I think people would say. They'd be like, I loved her voice, I loved her attitude.
SPEAKER_02:Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll write a song and cut it before and it'll only be released at my funeral. Only be released at the funeral.
SPEAKER_05:And it'll be great. It'll be great. Um, I think personally, I think Willie Nelson summed it up best when he said, roll me up and smoke me when I die. That's like that's pretty much just do that, put my ashes in the dirt, grow a wheat plant, roll me up and smoke me when I die.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my Lanta. Yeah, like I could, oh I'd be. I'm not saying that death is funny, but we have to be able to like just be ourselves. And I feel like funeral parlors just take that away from you because they're so sterile.
SPEAKER_05:It's your last time getting to celebrate like that person. And it's like just going to walk like Uncle Kevin's thing or whatever. It's like he wouldn't have like he wouldn't have even gone if it was something like he wouldn't have even gone. It like he would have just been like, whatever, I'm not going to that. And he'd have stayed home and drank. And like, then he'd have waited because people would have gone over and like, but that's like the thing is like I just want people to treat me when I'm dead like they would any other day. Come on. Right. Pass me a pass me a doobie, get me a beer, turn the Steelers game on. Let's jam some grateful dead and let's eat some bacon wrap scallops, okay?
SPEAKER_02:You just turned so Pittsburgh when you said that too. Oh my Leonta. Um what else do we got supposed to talk about? I feel like we had so much because we had to be.
SPEAKER_05:I know I love that idea because it's like you're like we saw people love the sort of like fancy death stuff. I mean, you see it, I I think it would be great. I think you're right on with this.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I would go.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. Plus, like obviously neither of us are morticians, so we'd have to hire a mortician. And I already know who I want to hire. You said that's easy. Oh, I have somebody in mind. Oh, you said that's easy. And I was like, I when you said that's easy, I thought you meant. I meant finding a mortician.
SPEAKER_05:No, you can find e you can find somebody easy. I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of mortician schools.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but you want one that fits the vibe of the place that is.
SPEAKER_05:Well, you go to the mortician school, then you're like, which one of you kids wants to come try something new? Which one of you is innovative?
SPEAKER_02:Or you go to the I want Lauren. Lauren the Mortician. She's famous on TikTok. Her name's Lauren the Mortician. She's a real mortician. She's a medical examiner. But she does socials, and she's very like goth kind of. Um, but she's also a mother. Like, she's very like paradoxical, right? Aren't you? She's very cold.
SPEAKER_03:Aren't all morticians goth?
SPEAKER_02:Sure. You could argue that. I mean, yeah. I mean, the true definition of gothic would probably imply that. But I met her because of Bunny, um, XO. Uh Bunny had her on the podcast. And I just I fell in love with her, but I wasn't sure because she seems a little like um permit patty. But then when I actually started watching her content, she like she breaks stuff down and like she debunks things. So like she's been recently debunking, because you know, Candace Owens is fucking woo off her meds, I guess. And she's been saying all this conspiracy for it. Right. Well, she's been doing all this stuff about Charlie Kirk conspiracies, whatever. And Lauren, the mortician, broke it down. She was like, this is what really happens. This is why the report said that. Nobody's trying to conspire. You're just reading too much into it.
SPEAKER_05:That's just it, especially when people don't understand things that they don't do. They're like, why would someone do this? Well, why would I watched one whole thing where she was like, Why would someone use the word, what was it? And then they showed 19, she's like, nobody would use that word. Nobody uses that word anymore. Then they proceeded to show a month's worth of clips of her using that word way before the thing ever even happened.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my God.
SPEAKER_02:It's exhausting with her. I don't even I don't I honestly couldn't tell you what's going on in her life because I like I didn't unfollow her, but like I just since I stopped clicking into her content when it comes up in my feed, like they don't show me her content anymore.
SPEAKER_05:Because like it's just You did what Charlie Kirk did. He didn't unfollow her. He just like, well, let me just let me just back off.
SPEAKER_02:Slowly back the way. Yeah. I mean, but he fired her first. He did fire her. No, but you know what I'm saying, though. Like I don't know if he's the one that actually was I don't even know if he was there. Yeah, that's exactly right.
SPEAKER_05:But yeah, no, that's all fun and games.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but yeah, I uh yeah, she's a Yeah, we've Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna talk about that. What do we got coming up, though? So the next couple weeks, we've got so you the open mic that you've already talked about, that is gonna be so fun. They might be giving away, or did you already say?
SPEAKER_05:No, I didn't say, but their plan was to give away Penguins tickets to the Penguins Red Wings game. That's November 4th, Tuesday, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Fetz's Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Then on Black Friday, details to be announced. I think it's gonna be at the Masonic Temple here in Johnstown, but all the wrong moves coming back with another show. More to come on that. I don't know the details. Then that Saturday after Black Friday is a the three Scots and a Knot show. This is gonna be so much fun at State College. Me and my two favorite Scots are gonna rip, rip, rip. And it's gonna be fun. I'm like, I'm excited about it. We possibly may have there will be a knot. We don't know who it is. It might be Ridge, it might be somebody else. It depends on schedule, so we'll see.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I'm excited to go. Well, so oh go ahead.
SPEAKER_05:No, no, no, no, no. I was just gonna say we do have some other things planned in there, but none of it's local to hear. Like we have the 565 thing and all that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, right, right. Well, you could talk about Pittsburgh. Don't discount them. There's a lot of things.
SPEAKER_05:Well, I don't remember the dates, so I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk. No, I just don't want to talk about the dates because I don't remember what it was.
SPEAKER_02:So we're going out hope I not hopefully, I think we're going out Saturday to they're doing a um vigil for Matthew McDonald um out near California, Pennsylvania. So um we might rather California way. Talk to the folks, see what you know, get some footage of the visual. But so two things that I am calling out right now because I want to get them stamp marked out into the ether. So we talked about the holidays coming up, my favorite time of year. I almost wore a Christmas shirt tonight. One thing that I thought of just today that I haven't even talked to you about yet is I want to do a live recording of the podcast up at the mall, the galleria. Oh that way people want to stop by and like say hi, they can. They can come in and sit in the booth and get a Yeah, yes, yes. And then the other thing I'm I'm putting out into the ether um because we need to start talking about it now if it's gonna happen. Um, and so this might be a casting call. I haven't really thought about it yet. But I would really, really, really I want to put on a Christmas variety show this year. I don't know where we're doing it. I don't know who's gonna be involved. It's gonna be the feel of like 1975 old Bobby Goulet type, bad hair, bad suits.
SPEAKER_05:And I be like, this child is a blessing to the both of us. Give me let me sw I, Joseph, will swaddle this baby. And then I want to get up and do the then I'm gonna pat you on the head like we just got done a basketball game.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, we can do it. I really, really, really want to. So we know that I sing. Um, there are lots of other people we know who sing. I would love to do a live remix of Christmas time for the Jews from SNL. It's one of my I love doo-op. I love that type of music, I love that lady's voice. Um, I can't think of it right now. Um, but yeah, I want to do that. I want to do skits, I want to do my comedy.
SPEAKER_05:You can sing. You can sing, but have you ever played Bibbon?
SPEAKER_02:No. So funny enough, no, I didn't even. But the only time that I was ever in any production like that, I was also uh way back deep in the back, extra. Nothing important ever came my way. So much so that I, well, because I was overweight in high school, right? So I didn't cast well. So I became the stage manager and said, fuck it, I'm producing these shows. So I produced three musicals and while I was in high school because I didn't want to be in the show because I was too insecure about being fat. Even though I could sing way better back then thanks.
SPEAKER_05:I don't think I was ever in anything. I other than that one act, one-man play that I did and won the goddamn fucking history thing. Let me tell that story because that's fun. So there was what in Pennsylvania, there's this thing it's called Nash, it's like part of National History Day, but Pennsylvania like has their own thing and they have contests. You can either write an essay, you can make a project, or you can do a performance. Well, me being, and you had months to work on this, and it counted for part of your grade. And so we got to the state competition, and I was always a procrastinator, always lazy. And so I I originally had partners in this play, and they all backed out about two weeks before the competition. We're like, we're just writing papers. I was like, I'll be goddamned if I'm writing a fucking paper. Like, so I was like, I'm just gonna do this. So I went up there and did this whole play about this grand kit. They was in a hospital. I had like little bed sheets and things churn up. This guy was like, his grandfather was telling him the story of World War II, and like then he like was a ghost. I don't even know. Like, he wasn't really there, you know, like in the room. I did this all myself, one act play. I won the regional competition, and they were like, So I had to go do it again. Well, not only that, then they were like, you did so well, why don't you do it for the whole school? And the way they wanted to do it was they were gonna have me do it at different times throughout the day for each class that came into the history class. So everybody that had history in seventh period met in the library. I did it for those three classes, then like eighth period, I did it for the next three classes. I never had anything written down. So I just not only did I make it up the first time, but then I had to remember what I made up. And I got pretty good by like the third or the fourth time I had it down. Like I like had it totally acted out. But you talk about putting yourself in a bad position because I was like, when they asked me to repeat it, I was like, what am I even gonna do? I don't even know what I said.
SPEAKER_02:You're hilarious. But didn't you do that one other time too? So for FFA, didn't you do like wing it for an FFA speech and win something too? Or was that different?
SPEAKER_05:Well, I never won it for a FFA thing. I did now FFA, I was super fucking good. Not only so at FFA, so the first thing I did, I won the state competition at the and that was just so that that's like a re- you recite the FFA creed and then they ask you questions about it. I was such a good boy. As I was giving the answers, I was like, I'm winning this fucking thing. Because my I knew that I was so full of shit that day. It it I couldn't have been more full of shit. And it worked just, I mean, it was masterful what I and I knew I won. There was no chance that I was losing this thing because I could see they were eating it up fucking lock, stock, and barrel. Then the next year I did a thing. Now, this one you could go to a national competition, and I was selling John Deere Skid Steers. It was team, it's called Agricultural Sales. And part of it was a written test, part of it was like a like you had to give like a sales presentation, and they like were asking you questions, and like that's where I exceled because I was just like selling this guy a freaking skid steer. Anyway, I ended up I got a scholar, I won a scholarship because I think I was like 11th or something in the nation uh when it was all said and done. And uh, I mean, basically, yeah, I was just being full of crap. That's why I was good at it, because you just you were like selling somebody a skid steer that was imaginary that like you knew nothing about, and like I was like, picture yourself on your family phone. I remember like picture this, like, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Speaking of winning in school, oh my God, I got so teary-eyed this morning scrolling through Facebook. As you know, but some of our listeners may not know. In high school, I was in the drumline. Um, so when so I played bass drum, but I could play drums. Like I could play other drums, but I just played the boom, boom, boom. But it was fun. I loved being in March and Band. Loved it, loved it, loved it. It was the best experience of my life. Best people growing up in the 80s and 90s, like our it wasn't like so. American Pie bastardized and turned. We said we were band geeks, but we weren't fucking geeks. Nobody in the drum line was a geek, nobody in the trumpet line was a geek, nobody in the saxophone line was a geek. Matter of fact, nobody was a geek and when I went, but anyways, so I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and I was like, it like back then we were huge. Like our band probably had like over a hundred and some members, right? So it's declined over the years, you know, funding for the arts. Um the drumline for Johnstown High School won the states first place. I cried so hard.
SPEAKER_03:Wow, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_02:Yay. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, that's awesome because there's a lot of bands that actually still compete. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I love that the drumline. So much going on. It's wow, you can't even control yourself, and you're like, what's happening right now?
SPEAKER_02:So it's so funny because like my tism, um I have auditory, sensory issues, right? So noises great me, bother me. It's the opposite for a drum. When I hear drums live in a marching band setting, like you could tell me I won a million dollars and I wouldn't even give a shit. Because that drum music just gets me somewhere where I just I can't even describe it.
SPEAKER_05:I think your stuff is auditory, but your your pleasing things are also auditory, and there's so much structure in drums. You know what I mean? Like no beats out of place, everything's orderly. So I think that's why it's like a good reaction for you. Just like when you watch the stupid people clicking on the thing.
SPEAKER_06:What are you saying that a movie things?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, no, but I'm saying like it's the same thing. It's rhythmically pleasing. Rhythmically pleasing, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, yes, yes. But like it's but it's not only so it passes like the the recognition barrier and actually filters down into my soul and like the vibrations make my heart happy. Like I can feel it. Like I can, like that's right. Cause you know, I don't think that I have the capability to experience true joy. Yeah, yeah. Like for me, that's when when somebody asks me, like, you could tell me so many good things, and I'll be like, Oh, that's really awesome. I'm so excited. But like I'm saying I'm excited, but I have no feelings attached to it. The only time that I get the feeling of joy, well, there's two times. One is seeing a baby, and two is hearing drum beats that are the right ones. Because not all drum beats, like it has to be a certain rhythm and stuff, too.
SPEAKER_05:So I bet you get on some of those odd timing things, it probably does the opposite for you.
SPEAKER_02:Uh Tull. Speaking of odd timing, Tull music, as much as I like two of their songs, their drop, their their their tuning and their bass lines give me full on panic anxiety. Full on panic anxiety.
SPEAKER_04:It's designed to do that. That's the it's designed to do that. I know.
SPEAKER_02:I know. Um there was one other thing that I want to talk about. I can't remember this. I'm drawing. Oh, I know what it is. Okay, the we're closing out. Unless you have any other topics. So I think this weekend we are going to, if we can, this is another thing where I need to put it out into the ether, right? You wrote the new song for the podcast, and I want to release a music video for it. However, this song is a lot more specific than the generic one that I wrote. So we need to get some footage. So if you happen to be a rudder's worker and you see us out and about, just say, hey Scott, hey, Alana, so that we can like get it. If you happen to be a rudder worker, I'm gonna be walking around producing.
SPEAKER_05:If you happen to be a rudders worker, we need you to allow us a little access to be walking around your store, maybe giving you a free hoagie. I don't know. Egg roll was acceptable, whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Because we're gonna be promoting you. Your rudder's name is in our theme song, and it will stay there until the next iteration of Gilded Trash.
SPEAKER_05:If Rudders had a face, you're looking at it. Because we tout rudders to people we promote rudders more than probably anything else that we promote.
SPEAKER_02:I can listen to this damn podcast and have Chappie pull out every time we said rudders because we're always there. We're on the road a lot, we're on the road a lot in Pennsylvania, and our choice is in Pennsylvania on this side of Pennsylvania, sheets and rudders. Wawa's making its way this way. Uh they're making headway. Rofo is making its way this way. They're making headway until Rofo gets in Pennsylvania deep. I'm gonna continue to tell Rudders as my gang.
SPEAKER_05:They're barely crossed the border. They've barely crossed the border out there near York and stuff. They barely crossed it. We need them to be deep, deep in Pennsylvania.
SPEAKER_02:Deep.
SPEAKER_05:I want it to be so deep in Pennsylvania that sheets start selling fried chicken.
SPEAKER_02:What did they just start doing that I was like, ah, so I notice, and I don't remember which sheets it is now, but there is a sheets that has their coffee bar set up like Rudders. Because that's the one thing that we always talk about, is one of the things that I love way better is the Rudders coffee bar because you have your little different tasty flavors that you can We were at a Sheets and I don't remember where it was, but they had the Coldwell with the International Delight Coffee Creamers.
SPEAKER_05:Well, Rudders also just has way better coffee than Sheets.
SPEAKER_02:It tastes better. It tastes way better.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Because they're all doing the beans now. Like everybody's doing the beans. So it's not like the process. It is literally just whatever brand Rudders uses has way whatever brand Sheets uses has a higher acidic level and like a sourness behind it that I can't get behind. I don't like Sheets coffee. I can't.
SPEAKER_05:Here's the thing is like I've tried coffee. I mean, we've I've drank coffee from just about every place there's a drink coffee from. Honestly, personally, I think sheets is one of the worst coffees out there. Like, I'd rather have McDonald's, anything like I like better than Sheets. I just do not like their coffee.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Agree. Agree. All right. Well, on that note, I need coffee or something because I've been up since 4:30. So um, if you see us out and about um recording, maybe you'll make the um the music video. Um, we might see you this weekend. Maybe we'll be handing out candy. I don't know. But if nothing else, you guys know the deal. Stay trashy.
SPEAKER_03:Stay trashy.
SPEAKER_00:UFOs and smoking trees.
SPEAKER_02:All the rudder's employees know odd names.
